Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Bipolar is irritating.

So I know I'm in a moderate low right now, because despite all of the wonderful things going on, I'm not feeling happy.

For example, this morning I tried on my old ripped jeans, and they were super loose. I have to buy new pants for the show on the 9th, and that's awesome, but still I feel down.

Also, X Japan is back together. My favorite band of all time. They wrote a song called "IV" and it's at the end of Saw 4, and I'm SO MAD it's not on the soundtrack. How lame is that?? The song is so good it makes me cry. I can't wait to hear what else they come up with. I love X Japan so much. I can't believe they got Toshi back.

Prolly not gonna get lunch until after this meeting I have to go to. Ugh. I hate meetings.

Friday, January 18, 2008

It's Friday!?

Yes, it's Friday. That means tomorrow is my birthday party. Yesterday I stayed home from work because there's no way in HELL my car could ever get out of our driveway. Well, Dan took this as a good opportunity to get some recording done, so I recorded 3 more songs and we went to practice. Had a great practice last night, did the set list 3 times. My throat is killing me. Dan bought us dinner at Dennys, so I owe him one. It was a pretty good day, but I didn't get the laundry done like I wanted..

Diet's still going well. Haven't lost anything else, but I think I'm pretty well set into the 120's. I'm gonna try to never reach 130 again.

Friday, January 11, 2008

Arrrg my throat!

Last night's band practice went very very well. I'm loving our new songs, especially "Penetrate Your Mind". It's sure to be a hit when we play it at the Battle of the Bands. I'm sooo stoked about it...

Diet's going well, I dropped another pound. I'd like to stay in the 20's for the rest of my life, if not go on to the teens. I wonder if I'll ever lose that much?? Ha, we'll see.. I'm not gonna give up 'till I get to 120! My original goal was 125, which seemed like a pipe dream, but now that I'm 128, it doesn't seem so very far away! I just wish I -looked- like it.. I still look fat. I haven't noticed any loose clothes or anything. Or maybe all my clothes were way too tight and now they're just a little less tight.. I don't know. Either way, I hope I can be thinner by the 9th of next month. I know it's a tall order, but I was once a size 9. I'm not a 10, and I've seen ladies who've gone from 10 to 2.. so who knows? Maybe it's possible. I know I won't be a 2 by the 9th, but if I can be thinner than I am now.. NOTICIABLY thinner.. that'll be awesome.

I saw my therapist yesterday, and he's having me do some exersizes in the morning. That's pretty cool. I was feeling fairly down last night and this morning for no reason. I don't know if the situps helped, but it would be nice if they did. I'm scared about having to go on mood stabilizers. Willy hates medicine for this sort of thing and I don't want my personality to get weird.

Thursday, January 10, 2008


So, my weight loss goal has changed. I've got to lose weight FASTER because on the 9th of February, Blood Corps will be participating in a battle of the bands at Jaxx!! I'm so excited, this will be our first show with our new drummer!

Today is also my first therapy session. Wish me luckz!

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Hump Day.. yeah right.

So it's the middle of the week and I am both bored out of my mind and depressed with the idea of it being the middle of the week. Good thing I have my counceling tomorrow! I got my authorization number so I can go to any counceling service I like within the network, and that's fine with me. Tomorrow will be my first session. I hope it helps. I'm very nervous. For those who don't know, I have bipolar disorder, and this will be the first time I've ever seen someone for it. I have medicine for it, but all it does is make me very sleepy, and I don't like that at all.

As far as weight goes, I'm hovering around 129 right now on my scale, which is probably more like 135 in real life.. but whatever. At least I've lost something. I'd like for my scale to say 120, so I'm gonna keep it up. This morning I had the usual breakfast of pumpkin and a glass of water. For lunch it's tuna and celery. Eh.. yeah. I need to get different things.

Last night however, was a triumph! I got Willy to eat a chicken caeser salad for dinner! It felt nice to see him eat a salad. Poor thing hardly eats any vegetables. He told me he'd probably die if he were alone because he can't cook.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Woah there.

Haven't updated in a while. I've been lazy.

Anyhoo, I've restarted Atkins, AGAIN. I officially went back on Induction January 2nd, due to a New Years fiasco that ended with me eating lots of bread and chips. Well it's my own fault for buying those things for the party. For my birthday in a few days, it'll be nothing but Atkins friendly food!

Now, during my last doctor's visit in the Fall, she weighed me in at 141 or something similar. Since going on induction, MY scale says I'm currently 129. So, that's a pretty big deal, BUT I doubt my scale is telling the truth. So I'll just say it's water weight and continue on induction until next Tuesday. It's been going pretty well, as I have lots of snacks at home, and my roommates have stopped eating rice with every meal. I'd like to go with them to the gym, but I keep having things pop up. I've been doing 20 minutes of exersize in my office, though! Still pretty sore from all that...

Not much else to talk about, just yet. I'll try to update more often from now on.