Reverse psychology!!

I'm one of those silly people who thrives on reverse psychology. If you tell me I can't do something, I'll work hard to do it, just because I want to SHOVE IT IN YOUR STOOPID FACE.

Background story:

I was asked to do a guest vocal appearance during an upcoming show with a band who goes on after us. The band is certainly not our style (modern radio rock), but, when someone asks me to sing with them, I consider it a compliment. That they actually want to hear me do something for them because they think I can and they think it would be entertaining makes me happy! Why would I say no? So of course I said yes. I listened to the song and thought, "okay, not what I usually do, but still doable". I listened a few more times, got the lyrics, and began studying.

I forwarded the song to a friend of mine, who responded by saying that the song "isn't in your style", "is really high", and "I would say no".

...

Oh no you didn't. People, I am not one of those vocalists who is pinched into a tiny corner because of "style". You're talking about someone who learned to sing by mimicking. I didn't take voice lessons at a young age. Here are the steps I take when learning a song:

1. Get the song
2. Get the lyrics
3. Listen to the song
4. Sing along
5. Repeat steps 3-4 until it's perfect

That's how I roll. It can be any style. I've done this with motown, I've done this with metal, I've done this with Broadway, and I've done this with opera. The song I'm going to be guest-vocalizing on is radio rock. You think I can't do radio rock, you've got another thing coming. Am I gonna do it exactly like the other person did it? No, because I'm not a robot. Am I gonna do it well? You're damn right I am. It might be fueled by the fact that someone didn't believe in me, because as usual, I got somethin' to prove, and that something is that I AM ONE BAD ASS MOTHER $%&ER. That's right people, I am the Shaft of female fronted heavy metal. I come, I conquer, I tear #$&* up and leave the ladies (and gentlemen) begging for more. Bitches. Because if nobody's gonna back me up then I gotta be the one to do it. Because if there's one thing I know for certain, it's how to sing. It's the one thing I know I can do better than anything else, so please, do not test me. Do not try to tell me something is "too high" or, "not in my style" because bitch, I will make it my style. I will make it my ho. I will smack that song around until people say "daaaaaaayum".

Now. If you will excuse me, I'm gonna go listen to the song another ten thousand times.

/NINA OUT

Mission: SUCCESS!

Well, I can breathe now. Metal Quest was indeed a success, and now I don't have to worry about another show until this Friday when we play with Kamelot. HOWEVER, that show isn't a show I put together myself! All I gotta go is make myself presentable and put on a good show. WHEW. For those of you who were not there on Saturday, here's a quick recap.

Metal Quest started out in a flurry of putting together goodie bags and setting up merch tables. Third Eye Comics couldn't spare anyone, so we wound up not having any vendors besides Raven's Own. I was fine with that. We had room for all the bands to sell their things and nobody complained. Hurray! We brought water and beer for the bands, because at the end of the day, I was worried that we wouldn't make enough money to give them something, and we (A Sound of Thunder) at least wanted to give them some food and drink for their trouble. All of the bands were extremely cordial and appreciative, so it made my job much easier.

So the show started an hour late because the venue said it was cool, and people came! They DID! Ender's Game went on at 7 and they actually had a good crowd, thank goodness, because they were fantastic. As a matter of fact, when I was running around getting organized, their sound check suddenly made me feel very calm. That's how good they were. I was personally worried that the bands would either be rushed, or, they wouldn't have enough time, so I was strict with the timing and did a load schedule. Well it worked, but only because all of the bands were so great and professional! Everyone went on/off stage on time and we finished at the correct time! It all felt very good and natural. The best part is that despite talking all day, introducing all of the bands, and being worried about door sales, I actually put on one of my best performances. The guys and I had, I think, the best crowd we've ever had. The floor was full of people! I was very happy about it. At the end of the night, we made enough through door sales and pre-sales that we didn't operate at much of a loss. The only money we lost was for food and drinks, but that's fine. We're able to send some money to the Hero Initiative charity, and that's what matters.

This Friday, like I said, is gonna be a lot less stressful. I'm hoping a big name like Kamelot will draw as big as it did last time I played with them, which was maybe 4 years ago now. That time, the place was absolutely packed. Unfortunately, it's Prog Power weekend, so I know a lot of people will be out of town. Here's hoping that enough people are left to give us a good crowd! We've pre-sold a lot of tickets, so I know we'll have some folks there for us, at least. To be honest, I was never a HUGE Kamelot fan. They're okay, but they never really got me like, say, Edguy. I do really like their new lead vocalist though, so maybe things will be different this time. In any case, it should be a good night. I even took Friday off so I could rest my voice and be at 100%. Not sure what I'll wear, though. This weekend had a decidedly nerdy theme. Perhaps something a bit more.... ethereal? Nah. I'll figure it out. In the meantime, I think some much needed rest is in order. I've spent way too much time being the boss! It's time for me to let someone else be the boss, for a while. At least until the itch to put together another show comes! ...oh wait, there it is.

Metal Quest bands:

• Ender's Game
• Burning Shadows
• Dethlehem
• A Sound of Thunder
• Aries
• Rare Candy

Being an adult is STUPID!

Well, it's finally happened.

I've put Willy and I on a budget.

Nobody pouts like Shirley Temple!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen. At the tender age of 28 (WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN!? I could have sworn I was 27...), I've put an end to our going-out-whenever-we-want, buying-whatever-we-want, random-trips-to-the-Renaissance-Faire ways. I took all those talents I have for planning shows and applied them to my normal boring blah blah day to day life. I made a spreadsheet in Excel. I calculated. I did maff. Why? Because I realized that it really sucks when your bank  account hits zero and you've got a week until your next paycheck. Because honestly, I'd like to actually put more than a few hundred bucks away. Because my poor car has been neglected for months, now.. and I kinda need him up and running for all these band things I've been borrowing Willy's car to travel to, lately. There's also the fact that Willy and I make pretty good money, and the fact that we keep bankrupting ourselves mid-week is irresponsible and embarrassing. I mean hell, we've got friends with kids now. All we've got is a cat, and you're telling me we can't be financially responsible because we've got an addiction to top-shelf vodka and costume pieces for the Renaissance Faire? C'mon. We can do better then that.

What real budgeting takes is some self-control, which, admittedly, we have very little of. Especially me. For some reason, it's a lot easier for me to not eat than to eat the food I bring to work every day. I guess I'm spoiled. I do my damndest to pack a lunch I won't feel guilty about, but at some point, that lunch just feels unappetizing. So I just gotta force it down and tell myself, "Shut up and eat that tuna! You're doing this so you can buy Guild Wars 2!! (And also fit into those jeans from 3 years ago!)" But it's not as easy as all that, so sometimes I just let myself go hungry and tell myself I'll eat it the next day. Because I am dumb.

Man do I miss being an irresponsible teenager! Or better yet, an irrisponsible college student. College was fantastic. I'm a multi-tasker, so I thrive on the kind of stress that homework/social responsibilities/a part time job puts on a 20-something. I think my mom said "get a job" all at once, which I actually laughed at. See, I've had a job every summer starting at 15, and then once I hit college, it went from every summer to just all the time. I did random stuff. I worked at Suncoast (before Best Buy ate them) in a mall, I worked at the Maryland Renaissance Festival, I was a teaching aid for elementary schools (2 different ones!) and I tutored at our school. "Get a job"... are you kidding!? I loved working! I loved it because all the money I got was pocket money. I didn't need a car because I took Metro. I didn't pay rent because I lived with my parents. They paid for all my food. All I had to do was go to school and goof off. And boy did I goof off! I still managed to get good enough grades that I found a job straight out of school. That's where the trouble hit me.

"Isn't this more fun than watching cartoons in bed?"

My first job was in Chantilly. It was a 1.5 hour car ride each way. I was so exhausted each morning that I got into a car accident during the first 3 months I worked there, and realized I needed to move away from home. At first it was a "during the week" thing. I'd go home on the weekends and live with my friend Joe during the week. Then I realized it was easier for me to stay there all the time, so I got my VA drivers' license, changed my address, became an adult.

The problem is that rent was so cheap that I never learned to budget. I had several things to think about... rent, car, car insurance, student loans. Not too many bills. The older I got, the more bills I got. Suddenly I'm paying for electricity, cable, a cell phone, a mortgage, HOA fees, gym dues... grown up things! Grown up things are horrible, but the thing about them is that they exist for comfort. I have cable. Why do I need to go out to entertain myself? I have vodka at home. I have a plethora of comic books, some unread. I even have some guy living with me I could talk to every once in a while! So in theory, I shouldn't need to add more expenses to my bills because I've got so much else to entertain myself with.

"Quit drinking and read me!!"

Unfortunately, I'm not that kind of person. I need to be out. So I either need to make myself look at the gym as a happenin' place where fun things happen, or I need to just shut up and sit on the couch and read all those Batwoman comics I've been hoarding before I make us both go broke with my expensive dirty martini habit.

Hell, I even bought my own martini glasses! And a shaker! Theoretically, I should be happy as a clam on my faux velvet red couches, lounging in a pair of animal-print pajama pants and an old band t-shirt I picked up in the mid-west while reading comic books and drinking martinis.So why aren't I? I'm spoiled. I'm really really spoiled.

Well, after the birthday party excursion I go to on Saturday night, I will make it my business to spend this entire Labor Day weekend at home! That's right, people! After I get wasted in DC, I'm gonna come home, hug my cat, and try my best not to go outside and spend money. I'll probably go to the gym. That's it. I swear. What? You don't believe me?

Yeah, me neither.

Stress!!

So I think I thrive on stress.

I say this because as of right now, I'm a bit of a nervous mess. I've got a little bit more than a week until Metal Quest, and I'm stressed about a few things. I've made my lists and charts, but I'm always afraid something will slip past me! I've got a ton of things to do on the day of, like...

• pass out flyers
• pass out handbills
• get beverages for bands
• put together goodie bags for those who donated
• make sure the programs get here on time (!!!!!)
• make sure the bands go on, on time
• actually PLAY THE SHOW

...alright, so that's not THAT much. Maybe I shouldn't be too stressed? The thing I'm really stressed about, to be honest with you, is attendance. I'm always worried that not enough people show up, and it is imperative that we have a decent crowd of people so that we can make enough at the door to cover the cost of having a venue. I'm not even trying to get paid, here. I just want to break even and make a few bucks to donate to the Hero Initiative.

But as it gets closer to the show, I get the inevitable "So I have some bad news..." from people who can't make the show. I can't tell you how heartbreaking that is, and scary. What if nobody shows? What if these bands have no crowd? I tried my best, but that's often not good enough. I've got to make sure this show is worthwhile, because I know what it's like to play a crappy show. Crappy shows suck. I do not want this to be a crappy show.

Please let this show be awesome so I can actually relax when it's done!

Queen of Hell Preview (Rough Mix)

Oh, bands...

So I've noticed a trend, when it comes to bands. Please keep in mind, this is not all bands. This is just some bands.

Okay, so here's the thing. If you offer a band payment up front for their work, wouldn't you expect that band to like... plug the show? Advertise the show? Get their fans hyped because HOLY SHIT, a promoter isn't making you sell tickets for once? Right? Wouldn't you try not to take advantage of the fact that this is a paying gig and actually try to make the show a success? Well apparently, some bands don't feel this way. Some bands see dollar signs and decide to just show up, play, and leave. No plugs, no ads, not even a Facebook post.

Well a great big FUCK YOU to those bands. Do you know how hard it is to put together a show from scratch? All for the love of music? Why are people so fucking selfish? When someone treats you decently, you should probably also treat them decently. Promoters do everything in their power to make shows a success, but we are not miracle workers. If you want your band to be a success, you should probably do your part and PLUG THE SHOW YOU'RE PLAYING. How can you expect to make any kind of leap forward if you don't even have the decency to plug your own show?

And furthermore, why do I let people take advantage of me in this way?

Where's that depression I was looking for?

Oh, there you are!

I'm not doing so well, today. Last night I decided that I was feeling thin enough that I could splurge some calories on two beers and the inside of a sandwich. Well, screw that! Went to bed, couldn't sleep, felt warm and feverish all night, woke up nauseous. Had a bowl of oatmeal to settle my stomach, and lo and behold, I feel like a big fat ton of failure. Yes, in less than 24 hours, I went from slender and confident to fat and miserable. And do you know what happens when you get all miserable? All of the things anyone has ever said that makes you sad comes rushing back. Like that time the guy you like said he had a crush on another girl, who's really skinny, and it made you excuse yourself to throw up behind a dumpster. You know, every day stuff like that.

Of course, I should note that for all you new readers out there (all 2 of you!), I do have bipolar disorder. And there is currently a family member in the hospital (who I will not discuss, due to privacy, thanks!), so there's probably more wrong with me than the .2" addition on my waistline due to the two beers and oatmeal. That being said, none of that truth makes me feel any better. And to be perfectly honest, when I get like this, there are very few ways in which I can make myself feel better. I can either go shopping, or eat something terrible for me. Either way, I'm boned. I've actually gotta go do some band work tonight, and tomorrow I've got a gig. Both of these things are highly dependent on my mood, and the way it is now, I'm not sure how I'm going to manage to pull through the next few days. You know when you're so depressed you get shaky and want to go somewhere and cry and eat frozen yogurt and throw up? That's what's going on, right now. I'm not certain if it was brought on by my behavior last night, or the bipolar disorder. I don't know if one causes the other. I just know that this is a low, and I'm not sure what the best way to get out of it is.

But I do know that I've got to get out of it, fast, before I wind up doing something stupid. Like eating a pack of peanut butter crackers.