Goal Changes and Body Types

Back in the day, when I was in elementary school, we had a dude come in to take our pictures of a Kid's ID. We had to write our hair/eye color, height, and weight. This was my first time lying about my weight. I was 115lbs, and I wrote down 105. All the other kids were still less than 100, so I got made fun of anyway.

Fast forward to high school, where I weighed in at 180lbs. Being 5'1", this put me in the obese category. I look at pictures of myself back then and think "Holy shit, HOW?!", but there I am, 180lbs. Then, during my 1st year of college, my loving ex-fiance told me I'd be sexier if I lost weight. He then pressured me into doing Atkins, which I figured I'd give a shot because I was a worthless fat-ass and should lose weight to please this idiot. So I made my goal weight 150lbs. Reasonable enough, I figured.

Well, I got down to 150... and changed my goal. 150 was not good enough, I should be 130 and I'd be happy. Right?

I got down to 130 and stayed for a while. I was proud of myself! I had successfully lost 50lbs, (more than 1/4 of my body weight!) and should be happy, right? Wrong.

130 wasn't good enough. I'll be happy at 125. Right? No.

I'm hovering around 122.5, now. Still unhappy. Found out a friend of mine who I grew up with is 105. So, that's my new goal. Yes, I know we have different body types. She's got naturally slim hips (although she'd argue otherwise) and thighs. I carry all of my weight... ALL OF IT, DAMN YOU, in my hips and thighs. I compare myself to a chicken. Big fat thighs, with normal looking calves, and tiny TINY (I'm talking size 5.5) feet.

So again, my goal has changed. Why? Because I have this horrid "body type", which makes my thighs constantly fat no matter how much my ribs poke out, or how much my wrists look like tiny noodles. My feet are bony. My collarbones stick out. Even my scalpulae are like two giant wings on my back, but still, FAT THIGHS. My eternal enemy, my eternal shame.

And dodn't give me that "child-bearing hips" bullcrap, because it doesn't help someone who's husband isn't particularly crazy for kids and lives in a studio apartment. I have these giant hips for no real reason other than my DNA. Gaddamn DNA, pisses me off every time.

Anyone else have problem areas they like to bitch about?

By the way, diet's going good today.