The Duchess of Dork: rock

Friday, December 7, 2012

A confession in the name of rock..

Alright people, brace yourselves. What I'm about to tell you is pretty insane. I, your resident Queen of Hell, your party-going binge-drinking metal-loving card-carying mosh-pit enthusiast... do not like "rock n' roll".

Try not to pee yourself. I shall explain.

I'm not sure how it happened, but during my formulative years I wasn't really exposed to rock. Metal? a little. I found that I was drawn to musicals, which makes sense, because all my parents let me watch were Disney movies. My neighborhood was decidedly more into hip hop, and my parents wouldn't let me listen to it. Nor was I allowed to listen to Madonna, who would have been a terrible example anyway (thanks, mom and dad!). You all know this story. I grew up sheltered. But even when I got to high school, and even as I tried my best to like the popular music, none of it stuck. I didn't FEEL anything. I listened to DC101 and 98Rock and gave Nirvana and Creed and Hole and Garbage and whoever else was famous at the time a genuine try. Nothin'. It didn't hit me in the heart.

I discovered metal just a bit after, but only because X Japan made me realize why I liked them; it wasn't the ballads, or the genuine emotional blah blah blah, it was their few (very few) truly HEAVY METAL songs that I wanted and craved. I needed more of THAT, I decided. And here we are today.

So even now, as I listen to a swingin' rock n' roll beat, a nice guitar, something uplifting and happy and party-rockin', I am dead inside. Like a petrified corpse. It just doesn't hit me, and in a way, that makes me kind of sad. Everyone loves rock n' roll, right? Instead, I feel like the chick at the end of the movie version of Christine. As she sees the smoking cube of what used to be a murderous mass of metal, and a dude walks by with a boom box playing classic rock.

"I hate rock n' roll."

I feel you, sister. Though, admittedly, for much different reasons.

How is it possible to hate rock and absolutely love metal? I really have no idea. There's a really fine line between the two, after all. Some of Priest's more uh.. sparkly stuff could easily be considered rock, but I still like it kinda. I enjoy listening to AC/DC. That's rock, right? But man, that swinging happy "hard rock" on the radio about doin' people and partying or crying about your boyfriend or whatever.. it just does not click with me. Even when Hammerfall sings songs about cheating on their girlfriend and getting caught (I shit you not) it typically doesn't vibe well with me. Real-world situations and relatable content? Not to me, it isn't.

I don't know, maybe I'm just weird. But, if you should happen to see me cringe once someone turns on the "latest hits" on the radio, now you know why.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Nuts!

I've been on a quest to lose ten pounds for the past few weeks, and I've recently realized that I've been sabotaging my efforts with one of my best friends.. nuts. Yes, nuts. I f'ing love nuts. The problem is that too many nuts means too many carbs, and that just ain't gonna cut it. I'll have to wait until my weight loss has started revving up before reintroducing my crunchy little babies back to my diet. So, not only have I given up vodka, but now I'm gonna have to give up one of the few snacks I might have found at a gas station. Sucks to be me! We'll see how this effects me. I haven't lost a pound since I started eating clean/working out, but I'm hoping this is because I've been building some muscle. All those squats have got to do something!! It just wouldn't be fair if all they did was make me sore the next day. Kettle bell training really is a bitch, lemme tell ya. I've also decided to give up adding anything to my coffee, be it half and half, milk, or artificial sweeteners. From now on, it's coffee: black. Yes, even the disgusting coffee I usually drink. All black. TAKE THAT, STOMACH.

To be perfectly honest, I've always had this pressure to lose weight, but it's recently taken a front seat in my priorities. I know this is going to sound strange, but I feel guilty over the fact that I'm not thin. I feel like my shape is a detriment to the band. Imagine, we're just one of fifty million other female fronted metal bands, so which do you think a giant label will care about more? Me, or a band with a lead singer who looks like Cristina Scabbia of Lacuna Coil? Or Marta of Bleeding Through? Take a look at this picture and you'll notice a trend. Thin sells. Short and chubby does not, so I either have to get my act together or wind up as one of the forgotten metal singers who never made it anywhere. And the worst part is, I'd take my fantastically talented band-mates with me. I just can't let that happen. I not only have to be the best singer I can possibly be, I've also got to be the best looking I can possibly be. So that means goodbye to vodka and nuts.. eat least for a while. We'll see if it does anything, but I have hope! And, you know, FEAR OF FAILURE...

In other (more awesome) news, it looks like we might not have just one... but two great artists gracing Metal Quest! Barry Kitson, known for his work in both DC and Marvel Comics, may be in attendance at Metal Quest! I say "may" because while he'll be in Baltimore during Baltimore ComicCon, he's booked until the early evening. So hopefully we'll be seeing him, but if not, please look at this awesome drawing of Ben Grimm throwing up the metal hords that Barry drewq for Josh (lead guitarist over at A Sound of Thunder). I had this baby comissioned for Josh for Christmas, last year. Yes, I know. I really am the best gift giver... but I will be putting up updates on the Facebook event as soon as I have them. Right now, I'm really excited about how many people RSVPd to the show! Yes, I realize half of them are band members, and half of whats left probably will not come... but one can hope, can't one?? If we can sell this show, we might really be able to give the Hero Initiative some money while showcasing some great nerd metal! Nothing like nerds helping nerds, huh? I could see an entire series of show with that kind of premise.. but I digress! Metal Quest is gonna have music, artists, vendors, and silent auctions, oh my! Here's hoping all this work pays off in the end.

Tonight, I'll be going into the studio to record some demo vocals for a song we slapped on the schedule at the last minute. Josh has this huge boner for Hawkwind (not unlike my giant lady boner for Hammerfall), and wrote a song about/inspired by them (not unlike the song I wrote about/for Hammerfall...), so now we're doing it. I actually like it, now. At first I was a bit apprehensive about singing in that style, but it all changed with two little words: theramin solo. As in, I get to play the theramin. Yes. You heard me. The gaddamn theramin. Until next time!

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