As someone who's used to being sick, it should come to no surprise that I have some sort of rogue stomach bug today. I've had it since yesterday morning and besides feeling nauseous, I'm also a bit dizzy. This alone should have kept me from driving to work, but I persivered because I thought that maybe I'd be able to handle it. This doesn't seem to be the case as I keep getting that "about to throw up" feeling and am constantly feeling dizzy and spaced out. Not good at all.
On another note, I discovered a quick and easy way to make better grass in 3d Max, so that's always good.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Chugging allong..
Well it's been two weeks and I haven't quit! Been working out four times a week. I've gotten to the point where I'm only sore in the muscles I've never worked out before, so today, it's my chest muscles. Haven't worked those since I used that butterfly machine thingie in high school. Kinda funny having the area under my boobs be sore, but it's also nice to know where I need improvement.
On another note, I haven't lost any weight since my last drop to 124. I'm struggling to be okay with this, as I know I'm gaining muscle blah blah blah, but it is very frustrating.
One of my roommates will be joining me at the gym, which is wonderful. No more going alone. She went with me last night and it felt so good to have someone with me that I spent more time on my lifting. I felt more focused and relaxed. I was able to do all my sets and didn't feel I had to rush to leave. Pretty happy with that. Hopefully I won't have to get there so late, if she can put her workout clothes in my car. I really need to get some new workout clothes myself, my ensemble is getting a bit boring. I mean.. how much more boring can a green tank top and black running pants be? Not that I wanna be flashy, I'd just like a bit of variety. Variety that covers my legs.
Stupid legs.
On another note, I haven't lost any weight since my last drop to 124. I'm struggling to be okay with this, as I know I'm gaining muscle blah blah blah, but it is very frustrating.
One of my roommates will be joining me at the gym, which is wonderful. No more going alone. She went with me last night and it felt so good to have someone with me that I spent more time on my lifting. I felt more focused and relaxed. I was able to do all my sets and didn't feel I had to rush to leave. Pretty happy with that. Hopefully I won't have to get there so late, if she can put her workout clothes in my car. I really need to get some new workout clothes myself, my ensemble is getting a bit boring. I mean.. how much more boring can a green tank top and black running pants be? Not that I wanna be flashy, I'd just like a bit of variety. Variety that covers my legs.
Stupid legs.
Monday, March 10, 2008
The Beginning of Awesomeness
This is the workout regiment I'll be using to sculpt my body.
Monday 1: Upper Day One
Bench Press - 2 sets of 8-12
Military Press - 2 sets of 12
Skull crushers - 2 sets of 15
Chins - 2 sets to failure (add weight if you can get over 15 reps)
Barbell Rows - 2 sets of 10
Wednesday 1: Lower Day One
EZ Bar Curls - 2 sets of 12
Hammer Curls - 2 sets of 15
Seated Calf Raises - 1 set of 15 (with 5 second pause at the bottom of each rep)
Stiff-Leg Deadlifts - 2 sets of 15
Hack Squats - 1 set of 8 and 1 set of 20
Friday 1: Upper Day Two
Incline Dumbbell Press - 2 sets of 8-12
Dumbbell Military Press - 2 sets of 12
Dips - 2 sets of 12 (add weight if necessary)
Wide Grip Pulldowns - 2 sets of 10
Deadlifts - 1 set of 8 and 1 set of 4
Monday 2: Lower Day Two
Alternate Dumbbell Curls - 2 sets of 12
Plate Twists - 3 sets with as much weight as possible
Leg Press Calf Raises - 1 set of 15 (with 5 second pause at bottom)
Lying Leg Curls - 2 sets of 12
Squats - 1 set of 8 and 1 set of 20
Wednesday 2: Upper Day Three
Decline Bench Press - 2 sets of 8-12
Machine Shoulder Press - 2 sets of 8
Close Grip Bench Press - 2 sets of 15
Chins - 2 sets taken to failure
T-Bar Rows - 2 sets of 10
Friday 2: Lower Day Three
Preacher Dumbbell Curls - 2 sets of 12
Zottman Curls - 2 sets of 15
Standing Calf Raises - 1 set of 15 (with 5 second hold at bottom)
Sumo Squat - 2 sets of 15
Leg Press - 1 set of 20 taken to failure
Abs
Weighted decline situps - 2 reps of 10
Weighted knee raises - 2 reps of 8
Swiss ball crunches - 2 reps of 8
Cardio
45-60 minutes at 3.5MPH or higher on an incline, done daily, before breakfast.
--------------------------------------------------
Yeah. I've gone insane.
Monday 1: Upper Day One
Bench Press - 2 sets of 8-12
Military Press - 2 sets of 12
Skull crushers - 2 sets of 15
Chins - 2 sets to failure (add weight if you can get over 15 reps)
Barbell Rows - 2 sets of 10
Wednesday 1: Lower Day One
EZ Bar Curls - 2 sets of 12
Hammer Curls - 2 sets of 15
Seated Calf Raises - 1 set of 15 (with 5 second pause at the bottom of each rep)
Stiff-Leg Deadlifts - 2 sets of 15
Hack Squats - 1 set of 8 and 1 set of 20
Friday 1: Upper Day Two
Incline Dumbbell Press - 2 sets of 8-12
Dumbbell Military Press - 2 sets of 12
Dips - 2 sets of 12 (add weight if necessary)
Wide Grip Pulldowns - 2 sets of 10
Deadlifts - 1 set of 8 and 1 set of 4
Monday 2: Lower Day Two
Alternate Dumbbell Curls - 2 sets of 12
Plate Twists - 3 sets with as much weight as possible
Leg Press Calf Raises - 1 set of 15 (with 5 second pause at bottom)
Lying Leg Curls - 2 sets of 12
Squats - 1 set of 8 and 1 set of 20
Wednesday 2: Upper Day Three
Decline Bench Press - 2 sets of 8-12
Machine Shoulder Press - 2 sets of 8
Close Grip Bench Press - 2 sets of 15
Chins - 2 sets taken to failure
T-Bar Rows - 2 sets of 10
Friday 2: Lower Day Three
Preacher Dumbbell Curls - 2 sets of 12
Zottman Curls - 2 sets of 15
Standing Calf Raises - 1 set of 15 (with 5 second hold at bottom)
Sumo Squat - 2 sets of 15
Leg Press - 1 set of 20 taken to failure
Abs
Weighted decline situps - 2 reps of 10
Weighted knee raises - 2 reps of 8
Swiss ball crunches - 2 reps of 8
Cardio
45-60 minutes at 3.5MPH or higher on an incline, done daily, before breakfast.
--------------------------------------------------
Yeah. I've gone insane.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
You can do eet!
Well thanks to everyone who helped me out with my body image problem. I decided that yeah, I'm going to get down to 115, and if I'm still unhappy I will shut myself up with a burger.
Throughout my weight loss campaign though, I've seen a lot of weird crazy crap. I know a lot of people look at low carb dieting as something weird and insane. I mean, no bread?! No pasta?! No SUGAR??! How do you LIVE!? It's actually easier than it looks, especially after getting used to it. Eventually you accept the fact that you were addicted to crap that is very drug-like, and you start to enjoy real food. Stuff that grows from the ground or stuff that was shot in the head. (I like my burgers bloody, mmmm..)
But then I constantly (through my boring day) surf the forums at Post Secret and see all these girls who had the same problem I did; they wanna lose weight, and they try all of the fad diets and the exersize and the low fat crap, which yes, does work for SOME people, but not everyone. Low fat dieting might work for people who don't have issues with high ammounts of glucose in their blood.. but for people who are literally addicted to carbs and can't exersize? It's not going to do a thing. And people don't believe me when I tell them this. Or they complain and tell me it's too hard. Seriously, if you're fat and happy, be fat and happy. But don't complain that losing weight is too hard because if you want something, you need to work for it. Very few things in life come easy, especially something as drastic as changing one's own body. It's all about control. I'm not going to say, "some people have it; some people don't" because that is such a dick-ish thing to say. I think everyone is capable of control. All it takes is for them to realize that these things are not beyond their reach, and that they are just as capable of doing what they need to do as anyone else.
Throughout my weight loss campaign though, I've seen a lot of weird crazy crap. I know a lot of people look at low carb dieting as something weird and insane. I mean, no bread?! No pasta?! No SUGAR??! How do you LIVE!? It's actually easier than it looks, especially after getting used to it. Eventually you accept the fact that you were addicted to crap that is very drug-like, and you start to enjoy real food. Stuff that grows from the ground or stuff that was shot in the head. (I like my burgers bloody, mmmm..)
But then I constantly (through my boring day) surf the forums at Post Secret and see all these girls who had the same problem I did; they wanna lose weight, and they try all of the fad diets and the exersize and the low fat crap, which yes, does work for SOME people, but not everyone. Low fat dieting might work for people who don't have issues with high ammounts of glucose in their blood.. but for people who are literally addicted to carbs and can't exersize? It's not going to do a thing. And people don't believe me when I tell them this. Or they complain and tell me it's too hard. Seriously, if you're fat and happy, be fat and happy. But don't complain that losing weight is too hard because if you want something, you need to work for it. Very few things in life come easy, especially something as drastic as changing one's own body. It's all about control. I'm not going to say, "some people have it; some people don't" because that is such a dick-ish thing to say. I think everyone is capable of control. All it takes is for them to realize that these things are not beyond their reach, and that they are just as capable of doing what they need to do as anyone else.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Body image
So, I think I might have a problem. Or not. I'm not exactly sure.
See, I used to be obese. I was 180lbs at 5'1". I lost 50lbs and was down to 130, a weight I never thought I'd be at. Well at 130 I wasn't happy still, so a few months ago I decided to lose more weight and try to be 125. Well I got down to 127 and thought, hey, I'm not close enough to where I wanna be. Maybe I should be 120. Now I'm 125 and I want to be 115. My therapist said he wants me to stop at 120 but I don't think I can. I want to be 115. I'm not doing it in an unhealthy way or anything, all I do is diet and exersize. But I've become very militant, and I'm still really unhappy with my body. So much I still can't wear shorts because embarassed about my fat thighs and stomach.
Well I have this friend who's body I adore. I always wanted to look like her. So I wanted to gauge my weight loss on her, get down to her size, and I thought if I did I'd be happy.
It turns out, as of right now, I am her size. But I STILL feel like she's 100 times thinner than I am. She wears clothes I would never imagine wearing and looks great. I wouldn't dare wear what she wears, even though we're the same size, and apparently, I even weigh less.
I'm 5'1" so being around 115 is supposed to be a healthy weight for me. I'm not worried that I'm going to do something seriously unhealthy. I'm worried that I have a real problem and that I'll never ever be able to be happy with myself. I mean, if I can't be happy with the way I look now, at the same weight and size as someone I admired, when will I be happy?
See, I used to be obese. I was 180lbs at 5'1". I lost 50lbs and was down to 130, a weight I never thought I'd be at. Well at 130 I wasn't happy still, so a few months ago I decided to lose more weight and try to be 125. Well I got down to 127 and thought, hey, I'm not close enough to where I wanna be. Maybe I should be 120. Now I'm 125 and I want to be 115. My therapist said he wants me to stop at 120 but I don't think I can. I want to be 115. I'm not doing it in an unhealthy way or anything, all I do is diet and exersize. But I've become very militant, and I'm still really unhappy with my body. So much I still can't wear shorts because embarassed about my fat thighs and stomach.
Well I have this friend who's body I adore. I always wanted to look like her. So I wanted to gauge my weight loss on her, get down to her size, and I thought if I did I'd be happy.
It turns out, as of right now, I am her size. But I STILL feel like she's 100 times thinner than I am. She wears clothes I would never imagine wearing and looks great. I wouldn't dare wear what she wears, even though we're the same size, and apparently, I even weigh less.
I'm 5'1" so being around 115 is supposed to be a healthy weight for me. I'm not worried that I'm going to do something seriously unhealthy. I'm worried that I have a real problem and that I'll never ever be able to be happy with myself. I mean, if I can't be happy with the way I look now, at the same weight and size as someone I admired, when will I be happy?
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Cold = Pain
While perusing the hobo stripper's blog, I was reminded of my feelings towards being cold.
When I was a kid, waiting for the bus with my mom or dad in the morning, I would be bundled in sweaters, a coat, mittens, a hat, everything neccisery for me to stay warm. My parents were by no means going to let me freeze. However, I was always cold, and I always told myself that no matter what, I'd rather be too hot than too cold. I've taken this into consideration ever since. I mean.. this was a declaration I made in the 3rd grade, possibly lower, and I still cling to it. Being too hot? Midly uncomfortable, if only because you eventually feel sticky and sweaty. That's fine. Too cold? Painful. Like razor blades on my skin.
At some point in time, I associated cold with pain. Being cold meant I was in pain. I don't know why. Even now, if it's slightly chilly in my office, I wear my coat and gloves to keep it away. The walk to my car at the end of the day is like torture, because going outside means going to an even colder place.
I have no idea why I feel this way, but it limits me quite a bit. I remember my trip to Spain about six years ago, when we went there during winter for the first time. I hated it. It was so cold, I wore my coat and hat and sweaters and socks to bed. Pretty much I slept fully dressed and still shivvered. I swore that I'd never purposefully go somewhere that cold again, because I was just seriously miserable.
So it's with an anxious heart that I beg spring to come sooner, because I am tired of waking up cold in the morning. In fact, waking up cold has to be one of the most painful things in the world.
Right there with dislocating my arms, which I do way too often.
When I was a kid, waiting for the bus with my mom or dad in the morning, I would be bundled in sweaters, a coat, mittens, a hat, everything neccisery for me to stay warm. My parents were by no means going to let me freeze. However, I was always cold, and I always told myself that no matter what, I'd rather be too hot than too cold. I've taken this into consideration ever since. I mean.. this was a declaration I made in the 3rd grade, possibly lower, and I still cling to it. Being too hot? Midly uncomfortable, if only because you eventually feel sticky and sweaty. That's fine. Too cold? Painful. Like razor blades on my skin.
At some point in time, I associated cold with pain. Being cold meant I was in pain. I don't know why. Even now, if it's slightly chilly in my office, I wear my coat and gloves to keep it away. The walk to my car at the end of the day is like torture, because going outside means going to an even colder place.
I have no idea why I feel this way, but it limits me quite a bit. I remember my trip to Spain about six years ago, when we went there during winter for the first time. I hated it. It was so cold, I wore my coat and hat and sweaters and socks to bed. Pretty much I slept fully dressed and still shivvered. I swore that I'd never purposefully go somewhere that cold again, because I was just seriously miserable.
So it's with an anxious heart that I beg spring to come sooner, because I am tired of waking up cold in the morning. In fact, waking up cold has to be one of the most painful things in the world.
Right there with dislocating my arms, which I do way too often.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Been Lazy
I've been pretty lazy about updating this blog, but I figured I should add something today so people don't think I've died.
Blood Corps won 3rd in the Battle of the Bands at Jaxx. As our prize, we get to open for any national band that comes to Jaxx. This is an awesome opportunity and I am totally stoked about it. I'm looking forward to our next show, which will be on Saturday. Unfortunately, I caught a cold this week so I'm trying my damndest to get better by this Saturday. I'm feeling much better after a few days of chicken soup, tea, lots of water and bedrest.
That's pretty much it, for me. Until next time!
Blood Corps won 3rd in the Battle of the Bands at Jaxx. As our prize, we get to open for any national band that comes to Jaxx. This is an awesome opportunity and I am totally stoked about it. I'm looking forward to our next show, which will be on Saturday. Unfortunately, I caught a cold this week so I'm trying my damndest to get better by this Saturday. I'm feeling much better after a few days of chicken soup, tea, lots of water and bedrest.
That's pretty much it, for me. Until next time!
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