Friday, July 16, 2010

Nina and the Adventure of Hobo Island

We have hobos in DC. Lots of hobos. SO MANY HOBOS. They're literally everywhere you turn, and while I got no beef with most of them, a lot of them have mental issues. They're not dangerous or anything, but they are insane. And I don't mean a little insane.. I mean.. babbling out loud about conspiracies, arguing with cab drivers over a bag of pennies, that sort of thing. Today, I add a chapter in my ongoing saga with the hobos.

There was a problem on the train I was on, this morning. Because the stop we were stuck in was only about 5 blocks from my job, I decided to get off and walk. So I walked out, and there's 3 hobos sitting on a bus stop bench. One of them is an old lady. She calls out to me, "Good morning!"

Not the worst thing anyone could say, so I said, "Good morning!" back, to which she replies, "You have a beeeaaauuuutiful smile!" and the other two hobos go "Wooooooo!!" and whistle.

See? Not the worst experience to have. Just very strange. Walking beside me was a family of tourists, and they looked at me as if to say, "Poor thing!" but you know what? I smiled at them. This is my city, crazies and all.

A few more experiences I've had...

- Willy and I were in DC, crossing the street, when a hobo with a trumpet walks by. He starts babbling, and goes, "See!? It's easy to make up your own language! A-be-boo-baba-do-ga-be.." ect. Then he blew on his trumpet.

- Willy and I were in DC with his brothers and their girlfriends, for a New Years party. A hobo walks up to us, and says, "How much.. does it cost.. to walk in the jungle?!" When we couldn't answer, he returned to his hobo cave with a bottle of MD 50/50.

- I was taking a walk during my lunch break, and stopped in time to see a hobo rapping to a squirrel.

- I was on the train, with headphones in, when a hobo lady walks in with her cart and bags. She proceeded to yell. When I took off my headphones, I realized she was yelling at me. I couldn't understand a word she was saying, and then she left.

- There was a hobo lady who sat on the steps in front of a Burger King, when I went to college in DC. (Okay, it was Rosslyn, but it's practically DC!) She would play a radio she had, and panhandle. One day, she tried to get a cab driver to take her somewhere, promising to pay him with a bag of pennies. When he refused, she offered him her radio. When he refused again, she tried to pee on the floor in a Metro station.

- On another walk during my lunch break, a hobo calls out to me, "My GOD! I'm IN LOVE!! MARRY ME!!"

Some are funny, some are sad. Either way, DC has a big homeless problem. We do take care of them, there are many areas that serve breakfast and dinner to them, but there isn't enough shelter for them all. I'd really like to do more for them, personally, because one hobo has kinda bewitched me with his hobo powers..

He sells books at my Metro stop. Cheap, used books. I swear, it's like he's peddling crack to me...

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Huge (FAIL)

I tried watching this show, because as a former overweight teen, I felt I could relate. What I got was an overly drama-fied show, starring the chick from Hairspray, David Hasslehoff's daughter, and the black chick from The Adventures of Hercules.

All good actors, given a terrible script. It seems that everyone at this camp has issues outside of the norm, which makes the show feel entirely too fake. The girls are obsessed with a parody of "Twilight", where they replace a ghost with the vampire ("Did you get to the part where they danced in the graveyard??"), and either I've grown waaay past this new generation of teens, or they're portraying teens as really really dumb lately. None of these characters seem at all smart or creative. The main character's biggest creative achievement was to use fat bodyparts to spell words on her wall, like a 5th grader's collage.

I hate it when shows have a good premise and fail. I would actually LOVE to see a show that addresses childhood/teenage obesity without making it out to be the entire reason for their existence. Why can't kids just be kids, while also being fat? This show might have been interesting if the characters had personalities outside of their given archetypes..

The Pretty One

The Angry One who likes The Guy

The Guy who likes The Pretty One

And the rest..

Anyone else watch this, yet?