Monday, January 19, 2009

Bridal Shows

Since I'm six months from my wedding day, I find myself becoming addicted to bridal shows. The one I watched last night was "Bulging Bride", a show about brides who want to be thin on their wedding day, and go through grueling exersize and dieting regiments to get there. It was an interesting show, but only because I tend to compare myself to these women. The woman in last night's episode was extremely similar to me, in terms of size and shape. She was taller than me, weighed more, and was bigger in size overall.. so why did she look so much thinner?? It boggled my mind, so I asked Willy to measure me. The results were mind-boggling. I have a 26" waist, and 40" hips.

I've lost a good 3" from my waist, and nothing from my hips. I don't think my thighs have gone down, either. It feels like no matter what, I'm doomed to live this way. My ribs and collarbones are clearly visible, yet I still have thighs too fat for me to wear a skirt or shorts. I've got an hourglass body, not the pear shape I thought I had before. Hourglass because my ribcage is strangely big for me. I have a feeling it's to compensate for my eventually enormous hooters when I have a kid, like my mom and sister have. I wish I didn't have to wait that long...

I'm just so annoyed, right now. It feels like none of the things I do will get me any closer to my goal, and I want to give up, but I hate the thought of being a failure. I refuse to fail. I've never given up on a dream before, and I can't do it with this one.

I -will- wear a mini skirt someday. I -will- wear a bikini. I will.

Saturday, January 17, 2009


One of my problems while cooking is usually that I fall into a rut. I start cooking the same thing, get sick of it, and want to cheat. It's a bad habit to get into, and I can't afford to do it now that I'm cooking for two. No, I'm not pregnant.. Willy is eating better, now. Most of my recipes are of my own invention, which can and can not be a good thing, at time. Take last night for example.

I made chili. I make my chili from scratch, and add all the things I feel a good chili should have. Ground beef, habaneros, mushrooms, green peppers.. and a can of tomato paste. What's wrong with that, you ask? Well someone who low carb diets must be wary of tomatoes. They're a fruit, and they do have sugars. I used only one small can, but also a can of diced tomatoes. So sure, my recipe wasn't full of bad sodium or sugar or anything like that, but in my head I'm kicking myself for all of the extra carbs I should have been straying from.

Plus those 2.5 light beers.. but lets not get into that. They were the only ones left, they're gone now, I'm not buying any more!!

But I will be buying groceries, today. Which means I gotta dig up my old low-carb recipes and find out which ones Willy will eat. His problem is he doesn't like fish, so, I can't do ANYTHING with fish. It sucks, and it cuts out a whole plethora of foods, but it will be worth it. Here's hoping he'll come with me to the gym again, today. He makes a good motivator.

Friday, January 16, 2009

A week of clean eating!

So, last weekend Willy got some bad news from his doctor. A few high scores in bad cholesterol and things of that nature. Doctor's advice? Mor exersize, healthier food, ect. While I wasn't happy that he was on the verge of becoming rather unhealthy, I -was- happy with the fact that his own doctor has told him he has to start eating better. Which means he's actually taking my advice and eating the foods I tell him to eat and restricting on bad things! I am so glad, because it's easier for me to eat well when he does too. Now that it's just the two of us living together, the only food that comes in and out is food we say is okay. Now that I'm kind of in charge of the kitchen, I get to take responsibility.

It's harder than it looks. He misses his soda and his junk food, and I miss bread. Things are easier for Willy because, as an average height white male, it won't be hard for him to get his health on track. I've been fixing him all of his meals (which he likes!) and they have been relitively normal. Like, a sandwich on whole weat double fiber bread.. chicken and vegetables for dinner.. things like that. For me, I can't do bread, so it's harder. I eat breakfast, and he doesn't. Those things are kind of a challenge, but you know they're good challenges.

Also, he's coming with me to the gym lately. That is the best.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Wife Swap

I have discovered that it isn't the women who are the problem. It's their mean and disrespectful husbands. Good lord.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Idiots of the world...

So I was checking out my bank account today, and noticed I had $-950.


Wait, $-950?!

Looked at my withdrawls and noticed a check from my apartment complex for $1,250. Holy shit, what?! I never wrote a check for that!

I called their asses up and got the lady who works the desk. Said, hey, I never wrote a check for $1,250. She looks for it and says, "I have it here." So I ask, "Does it SAY in my handwriting $1,250?"

"..oh, I see. It was for $125."



It SAYS in VERY NICE HANDWRITING: "one hundred and twenty five..."

How can you MISS that!? Holy shit, lady! How can you be allowed to handle money?! I almost had a heart attack!

It's getting fixed now.. but seriously WHAT THE HELL.