Oh, you drugs, you...

Yesterday I visited the doctor about my migraines. My doctor is a kindly old lady with a voice like Mrs. Puff and an accent like Paula Dean.

So Paula Puff hears my complaints and gives me an ass-load of pills to try. Pills for my restless legs (won't get those until Monday), Vitamin D for my hair, and three different samples of migraine meds. I was suffering pretty bad by the time I got home, so I decided to take one of the samples before going to work.

We can see where this is going.

I get on the road and feel weird. Really weird. My head is throbbing, my neck is aching, and I feel DRUNK. So I call Willy with slurred speech, and luckily I was driving past his building on the way to work so he demanded I pull over so he could come pick me up. I made it to his building, and lay comatose for a few seconds. Once he got permission to take me home, I was in my passenger's seat, struggling to breathe.

I basically got all of the side effects associated with the pain killer, and NONE of the benefits. My head STILL fucking hurts. So I won't be trying the other ones until my next day off, which is Wednesday. Holy crap what an experience. Reminds me of the anti-depressants I was given, which did nothing but make me sleep for 15 hours. I guess you can't be depressed in your sleep, right?

Anyway, Willy's making me ditch Dr. Paula Puff in favor of a doctor that will actually try to figure out what the hell is wrong with me and why I've had the same migraine for two weeks now, instead of giving me an arsenal of pills. It's a good thing I'm not a drug abuser, I tell you what...

Annoying Asthma

My headaches have returned. We're wondering if they're being caused by my Advair, which is solely responsible for making me able to live like a normal human being again. Apparently, %21 of people who take Advair get headaches. I always get them in my forehead, in this one spot right above my right eye. And it's driving me crazy, but which is worse? Headaches, or constant asthma? I'm not talking a little wheezing every so often, I'm talking asthma attacks any time I get an allergic reaction, which happens ALL THE TIME because just about everyone in the universe but me owns a dog and the fur on their clothes makes me sick. Also, breathing things in makes me sick. Also, RAIN. I'm allergic to RAIN. I wouldn't whine so much, because I know it's not life threatening, SO LONG AS I HAVE ADVAIR. But without it, I'm pretty much married to my rescue inhaler, which has stopped working twice, and sent me to the emergency room both times.

I don't wanna suffocate, and I don't want headaches. This sucks so hard.