Monday, May 6, 2013

Reocurring Nightmares

Ever since I got sick on Friday, I've had a lot of dreams. I've also had the same nightmare about three times. Maybe it's a result of taking so much NyQuil, I dunno, but I've had this particular nightmare before. In fact, I've had this nightmare since I graduated from college.

No, not this kind of Nightmare you nerds!
Now, when I say "nightmare", I don't mean monsters. I've had those before, but this is totally different. It still terrifies me and fills me with anxiety even after I wake up, to the point where I begin questioning my reality. This particular nightmare is always the same in terms of the situation. I'm always faced with the sudden realization that I have overbooked myself; I have (at least) 2 full-time jobs, I'm missing class in school, and I have no idea what my school schedule is. So I'm suddenly in this frantic panic about the fact that I'm missing school AND my jobs AND I have no way of getting to either. It's terrible. Throughout my dream, I try to navigate my way toward one of these things until eventually I wake up and feel really dumb. I graduated from college a good 7 years ago. I've only got one job (that pays), and my other job is fun. Why do I keep having the same nightmare about a conflicting work/school schedule?

I know that I miss school. I enjoyed college a lot, especially the classes I actually wanted to take. I never really experienced fear when it came to exams or finals or anything like that. So why all the fear?

I have no idea. I'd love to go back to school, but for now I can't. Is this my brain telling me I've crammed too many things into my schedule? Or I really really want to go back to school? Stupid brain.

1 comment:

Matthew Lee Keith said...

I experienced the same thing for the past nearly 10 years now, though not in terms of it being a nightmare.

I think it comes down to the brain actually wiring itself for learning while in a state or environment of learning. i equated it to the brain coming down from this "learning high" that induces a sense of elation and reward for when you learn and demonstrate new concepts.

It is probably your subconscious using imagery that it knows that it can use to communicate with your consiousness telling you "hey! I want to learn more".