Objectifying women... for a good cause!

Something that's been annoying me lately have been ads that objectify women... for good causes.

Now, before I vent, let me make it perfectly clear that I love naked chicks. Love them! I often dress pretty risque for photo shoots and I have no issue with chicks being proud of their bodies. What I do have a problem with is the message that a lot of these objectifying ads are sending. The latest ad that has fueled my rage is this one here of Kim Zolciak, going basically topless for... gay marriage?? Ugh. Now I get the fact that they're doing this shit for attention, but what boggles my brain is, do they really think that getting almost naked is going to get people to change their minds about gay marriage? Do they really think that being a camera slut is going to change the world for the better? It just doesn't make any sense in my brain... but the ones I hate even more are the PETA ads. It's no secret that they're using sex to try to get media attention, which in my opinion, is not helping their cause.

They want to help animals, so they're posing naked for magazines. They try to influence people into going vegan by claiming that eating meat makes you tired, ugly, fat, impotent, sad, and anything else that the public does not want to be. Meanwhile, they hand out tofu-dogs while having models wear bikinis made of lettuce, and get various celebrities to pose nude for ads that will be printed on everything from magazines, to Metro cars.

And you know what's worse?? Their "vegeterians make better lovers" campaign, which is not only bullshit, but horrendously offensive. Their entire campaign is based on the idea that being a vegan is sexier. So they put up half naked chicks making out with one another. Well, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I happen to know that vegan diets can have just as much saturated fat and excess carbs as any other way of eating, and besides that, it is EASIER to get fat while you're eating vegan because vegan products tend to be higher in excess carbs and sugar than normal products! Eating vegan doesn't automatically make you skinny, or attractive, or magically make your sex life better. And by the way, how the hell is this helping animals?? I'd like to meet the shallow dumb-ass who went vegan as a result of seeing a naked chick on a billboard tell him to. And then I'd like to punch him in the face.

They say that meat eaters are more violent. That we are less gentle. Well, I'll openly admit it. I am not that gentle. However, my problem isn't with vegans. It's with PETA. PETA is a cancer on American society that makes vegans look bad. I went vegan during Lent for religious purposes, and I was on a vegetarian diet during my trip to Rome. I got no problem with not eating meat, but, for the love of all that makes sense, don't try to tell me that not eating meat will suddenly make me amazing. And don't abuse freedom of expression to put up soft core porn to influence people based on facts that you made up.

Last but not least, my ancestors lived off of animals for thousands of years, and they were praised by Europeans as being healthy and fit. So don't tell me that eating meat makes you ugly and fat, because anyone with a brain knows that it's not only untrue, but stupid. So go eat your Soy Joy, put a damn shirt on, and get the hell offa my lawn.

Rage!

"Well, I'm a size six."

"Which is the new size fourteen."

So, I made the mistake of watching "The Devil Wears Prada". I love Meryl Streep, it was on TV, and I wanted to have something going on in the background as I job hunted. I think the moment Anne Hathaway said "I'm not skinny", I broke down that barrier between annoyance and rage. Not skinny my fat ass! And she claims to be a size "6", which is shit because I'm a size 6, and damned if she's my size. Unless she's talking about a REAL size 6, which would be a size 2 to those of us who shop at cheaper stores. Which she probably is.

I don't know, movies like this and "Sex In The City" just piss me off.

HIKE!

Well, yesterday I tried to do something fun and ended up doing something really stupid. It was fun, but still stupid.

So I'm sitting at home, doing nothing but checking Craigslist and WashingtonPostJobs.com for job openings, when I say to myself, "why am I just sitting around? I should go for a walk!"

Now I've heard of the Manassas Battlefield park, which is right down the street, and I did a little research to discover they had trails! I decide to walk a trail, without first learning about how long the trails ARE. So I go to the park. It's a beautiful 89 degree day. I set off walking, by myself, with my phone dying. I see a little baby deer, take some pictures, and keep walking. And walking and walking. Mid-way through, my phone dies. I realize I'm in the middle of the woods with no phone, no map, and no way of knowing how long this trail is.

I finished it, and came to realize it was about 5.3 miles long. Certainly not too long a walk, but going up and downhill, and over rough terrain? Yeah, it was pretty rough, especially during those long stretches when I was out in the sun. But I did it, and it was, for the most part, fun. Except the part where my phone died and I could have totally been murdered in the middle of the woods. That was dumb.

In other news, I have 14 days until my next show, and I feel really horrible about my body. So horrible that I'm considering the master cleanse, which I think is the most stupid fad diet on the face of the earth. But considering the fact that I only have 15-20lbs I want to lose, and it's known to get rid of that much in a short period of time (due to STARVATION, yes, I know), I'm willing to give it a shot. Beyonce did it, a friend of mine did it, and they both lost 20lbs and didn't die. So I'm willing to give it a shot. If I do, I'll be posting daily on the effects.

I am an advocate of low-carb dieting, not vegi-dieting, which I think is stupid as shit. But to lose these rolls? I'll give anything a shot. It's not gonna be anything permanent, and I'm aware that I'll probably be losing a shit-ton of water, but, lemme see what this does to me.

Hooo boy, wish me luck.

Made in Spain

Okay, so I wasn't exactly made in Spain. More like... made in America with Spanish (and Salvadorian) parts. While my brother takes directly after my mom's side (tall, long nose), and my sister takes directly after my dad's (sturdy build, round features), I went right down the middle. People usually do a double-take when they see my parents; my mom is really blonde with green eyes, and my dad is "chocolate skinned", as he used to say. My skin color is right down the middle, I have my dad's round face and my mom's long nose, with my dad's hair and my mom's small bone structure. All right down the middle. (I'm the one in the wedding gown!)Problem with coming right down the middle is, I didn't understand at a young age the evils of common American eating, and of course, neither did my parents. My brother and sister grew up thin (especially my brother), and my dad, believe it or not, used to run around in the shorty-shorts of the 80's with six-pack abs. Even my mom wore a petit size at my age. Yet as they grew older, and I just... grew, we all became overweight. I know my mom and dad don't like it, but I don't know if it affected them as much as it did me. Of course, that could just be me being selfish. I know my mom would like to lose weight, but I don't think she'd trade in the traditional food of our families to do it. That's one of the things I've had to do.

The title of this blog post is "Made in Spain", which is a show on PBS I've fallen in love with. The show follows the adventures of José Andrés, a chef from Spain who travels to and from different parts of Spain to show you recipes, and the origin of those recipes. I have a love/hate relationship with this show, because every time I watch it, I want to try the recipe. Or, I know the recipe, and it makes me sad because I can't make it on my diet. I definitely inherited my mom's taste for food, but one other thing I got from my dad is the aboriginal American's metabolism.

I've blogged in the past about how aboriginal Americans are a huge demographic in the obese and diabetes numbers of the US, and how unfortunate this is, because it's caused by them not have access to traditional food. See, we didn't exactly have Little Debbie and Checkers back in the day. In fact, aboriginal Americans didn't eat a lot of excess carbs at all! Want to know what they ate an abundance of? FAT. Animal fat, specifically. American "Indians" would try to hunt for the fattest animals that they could find, because eating that fat would sustain them longer than anything else. Yes, they ate veggies and root vegetables like potatoes and carrots, but, considering how long they worked in the day, those carbs were used. Nowadays, there's very little hunting going on. Many Latinos (if not most), have aboriginal American blood. Many of them, like me, can't handle excess carbs as well as our European cousins.

Now that kind of sucks when I'm half European, and I absolutely love Spanish cooking. If I were a marathon runner, or if I could even work out (which I can't, due to not having medicine for asthma), I might be able to indulge in a few things. Unfortunately, due to my mostly sedentary lifestyle, sprinkled here and there with lifting a few enormous pots and watering LOTS AND LOTS of plants, I just don't have the energy output to enjoy classic Spanish cuisine. And it makes me sad. So I watch Made in Spain, and I remember the awesome food, and the awesome locations he shoots at, and I wish that I could be there.

Yes, there's plenty of other things that I could enjoy from Spain, but I'll admit that food is my favorite. Well, no... the location is my favorite. Eating Spanish food is nothing if I can't be there. And I can't right now, so food is the second best thing. So, damn you José Andrés!! Damn you for making me remember paella and turron and other carb-laden Spanish foods which would be ruin me.

..but thanks for this (fairly) low carb recipe!

Pollo al chilindrón
Chicken with peppers, tomatoes, onions and Spanish ham.

Chilindron is a wonderful vegetable stew that comes from Aragon, where they grow astonishing vegetables in the fertile land near the Ebro River.

Serves 4

* ¼ cup Spanish extra-virgin olive oil, plus 3 tablespoons
* 4 chicken legs, thighs and drumsticks separated
* Salt to taste
* 4 cups diced Spanish onions
* 1 cup diced green bell peppers
* 1 cup diced red bell peppers
* 2 tablespoons minced garlic
* 1 cup dry white wine
* 1 cup thinly sliced and diced jamón Serrano (Spanish cured ham)
* ½ teaspoon sweet pimentón (Spanish smoked paprika)
* 2 cups plain canned tomato sauce
* 1 fresh rosemary sprig
* 1 bay leaf
* 2 cups flat mineral or filtered water

Heat 1 tablespoon of the olive oil in a 12-quart pot over medium-high heat. Season the chicken pieces with salt then, working in batches, brown them on all sides. Transfer the chicken to a platter and set aside.

Add the ¼ cup of olive oil to the same pot, and when the oil is hot, add the onions and peppers. Reduce the heat to low and cook slowly until the vegetables are dark golden brown, about 30 minutes. Add 1 tablespoon of water if the onions start to burn. Add the garlic and cook for 5 more minutes. Then add the white wine and cook until it evaporates, 4 to 5 minutes.

Add the jamón and browned chicken pieces, as well as any juices that have collected, and cook for 5 more minutes. Stir in the pimentón, tomato sauce, rosemary, bay leaf and the water and simmer over low heat for 1 hour or until the meat starts to fall off the bone. Season to taste with salt before serving.

Constant Reminders

So I try to give myself constant reminders as to why I need to stick to my diet, and one of the biggest ones is...

"YOU HAVE A SHOW IN TWO WEEKS!!!"

That's a big one.

See, I have a show in two weeks. A show I'm already nervous about because we had to replace our drummer last week ($%#@!) and it's for a show that will likely be sold out. We're opening for Edguy, a band that I've been in love with ever since I heard Tobias Sammet's Avantasia. See, Tobias Sammet is the lead singer of Edguy, and his voice is one of the things that inspired me to start a power metal band. While we're not exactly power metal, my vocals and lyrics can certainly be described as such, which is something I'm really proud of.

We opened for Edguy and Kamelot last year, and the show was completely sold out. Line out the door, wrapped around the building, I couldn't even get in to see Edguy after our set because the crowd was too huge!! But this year I plan on meeting Tobias Sammet, and for that, I want to be thinner. This year, the show is going to be streamed live on the internet, and damned if I want myself televised with huge thighs. God help me, I will do something to lose a few pounds before this show. I have to.

Weird Weaknesses

So driving home today, I started having crazy thoughts. I've been known to have secret binge sessions, where I sneak over to a fast food joint and buy something ridiculous on the menu. WHY? I have no idea. Maybe it's the sugar rush. I remember a few weeks ago, I went to McDonalds for a chicken biscuit. It was weird. I ate it like I was in some kind of weird trance. It wasn't even that good, but I got a food high off of it and it just made me feel lousy for the rest of the day.

There are some foods that are really easy for me to turn down on a good day, while there are others that make me feel like crying for not being able to have. Pathetic, yes? Things like cultural food, things that I grew up with like plantains, handmade tortillas, those things make me feel so sad for not having them. Yet now I understand that it's not the food itself, it's the environment that it makes me remember. I remember my mom frying plantains for breakfast during the weekdays, and my dad making tortillas and eggs on the weekend.

When I see cake, it reminds me of birthday parties. Pie reminds me of the holidays. Cookies remind me of the end of soccer games. McDonalds reminds me of my return from a two week trip to Italy, where I fasted throughout the day and ate vegetarian meals, and came home asking that my first meal back in the US be something from those horrible golden arches. And ice cream? Ice cream is like summer days when my mom took use to Tastee Freeze, the tiny run-down ice cream stand back home, which boasted two-inch thick bullet proof glass and soft serve cones.

I'm discovering that food is my gateway to memories, which is horrible. I shouldn't need to eat bad food in order to reminisce, but god help me if the smell of paella doesn't bring tears to my eyes. Some people's comfort food is fried chicken, and others have brownies. Mine? My comfort food is a baguette cut in half, smothered with tomatoes, some olive oil, and a little salt. Some have called it "the poor man's bruischetta". My mom calls it "pan de tomat'". I call it the bane of my existence.

Lettuce!!

Diet's been sucking, lately. I can't work out until I get my medicine, and I can't get my medicine until I get my insurance card. Ugh. As for eating right, the idea of eating the same thing has been pissing me off. I'm going to try to shake it up, but, I found a way to do that by forcing myself to eat the right thing.

See, I love gardening. I only have a teeny tiny little garden because I live in an apartment. Today, I uprooted my old dead sunflowers and replaced them with some leaf lettuce. I got two varieties; Red Oak Leaf Lettuce and Simpson Elite. Both are fairly easy to grow, and will basically FORCE me to eat salad because I have a nervous tick about wasting food. Like the tomatoes I grow?? I feel anxiety whenever one of them goes bad without me having used it. Hopefully the sight of fresh lettuce leaves will make me want to eat salad instead of zoom off in my car for some kind of carb binge.

Job front still sucks. I'm still working for Valador, which is awesome, but I do wish that I could find a full-time job along the same lines. Hopefully I will, but in the meantime, it's Mysery City - Population: ME