I AM NOT AN ARROGANT BITCH (either!)

So I'm totally going to steal a fraction of Floor Jansen's internet thunder for a moment, here. She recently posted this "I'm not an asshole, I swear!" manifesto, and people are taking sides. I can't really take a side, so I'll just post my thoughts on the matter as a far-less known female vocalist in our world of metal.

"If I meet people and I ask not to touch me, this again is nothing personal. I don't like it. Some people (in general) are more physical than others and I am not comfortable with touching strangers or being grabbed."

You know what, Floor? That's cool, and I agree. Look assholes, you are not entitled to being touched or hugged or whatever. Just because you own all of her albums doesn't mean you get to physically touch someone. She doesn't owe you a damn thing, so don't get pissy if she says she doesn't want to hug you. And if you do, you're an asshole. Do I hug random sweaty men? Yes I do, and sometimes it's uncomfortable. But that's my choice, and if it's her choice not to, then you should respect her choice.

The rest of her letter you can read yourself, and come to your own conclusions.

Whore your band!

Today is Friday. Hurray! Since Willy is going to a bachelor party, I decided to amuse myself by supporting my local metal community and going to a show. The show takes place at the Sidebar in Baltimore, one of the coolest places in the city, and will be featuring doom metal. A good friend of mine is promoting the show, so I spoke to her about how the shows are doing. As a promoter, it's her job to promote shows, and let me tell you she is out there killing it to make sure people show up. Unfortunately, not as many people are coming as they should. Why's that? Well, there could be any number of reasons. Winter is a bad time for shows since people don't like going out in the cold, so that's a big culprit. Another one?

Bands not promoting enough.

Now don't get me wrong, I agree that promoters should promote. However, relying on promoters to promote is exactly why bands have a problem getting enough people through the door. We discussed pre-sales, which is where you ask bands to sell tickets. I've been doing pre-sales for over 8 years now, and I don't see that stopping anytime soon. Why? Because if you can't get at least 5 people to see you, there is a problem. I hear all sorts of excuses from bands, these days.

Back in  (insert year here), venues paid bands to play! We showed up and played! 

I shouldn't have to sell tickets, I'm the talent!

It's the promoter's job to promote, not mine!

Our fans don't like us pushing tickets, it makes us seem desperate!

And so on and so on and so on...

Child, please. In this metal business, we have to take what we can get. Being whiny about not selling tickets is going to do nothing for you. You can be the greatest band in the universe, but if nobody knows about you, how are you going to get your name out there? If you're not willing to sell yourself, why should anyone else? It's not like there aren't a million other bands trying their damndest to get recognition. You have to fight for that recognition and you have to make people see you. It's marketing. It's selling yourself. It's not pretty, but if you have a good product, people will respond and you will see results!

It's not easy to do this and it does take a bit of pride swallowing. If you have a big ego and expect people to come see you out of the goodness of your talent, this may be an issue. The truth is, some people won't go to a gig unless they're reminded. Or asked. They might be scared of your music (HELLO, METAL!), and think it's all a bunch of old men with skullets and patch vests growling at the women. Well how are they gonna find out that those old men with skullets and patch vests are (for the most part) very friendly and fun to hang with? How are they going to find out that metal is fun and exciting unless you say, "Hey cousin Debbie, want to see my band play this Tuesday? I need to sell some tickets and I was hoping you could come! I promise I'll buy you a Long Island, and you can wear that corset you bought at the Renaissance Fair!"

Every band wants to be the band that shows up, gets paid, and leaves. But everyone starts somewhere, and if you're not willing to start at the bottom, you've got an even steeper climb than the guys shilling out tickets for their first show. These young bands are hungry. They will do whatever it takes to bring people, and trust me, you are not better than they are because your older, or you have pro gear, or your leather pants are tighter. If you're playing to an empty stage, there's nobody out there looking at those leather pants anyway.

Don't be a prima donna. "Pay for play", where you literally pay to play, is not the same as pre-selling tickets. Pre-selling tickets means you're taking your band to your friends and family and spreading the word, and the more you do it, the easier (and more profitable) it gets. If you're not comfortable asking people to come see your band, good luck getting anyone else to do it because not everyone has an uncle in the industry who's going to do it all for you. Do that shit yourself.

WHORE. YOUR. BAND.

On "Attention Whoring"

I've been getting shit from a few people on the fact that I mentioned my band in the CNN article. I'm trying to come up with a way of expressing the way I feel without using the word "retarded" because I know it's an offensive word. However, this picture sums up exactly the way I feel when people ask me. Let me demonstrate.

"Nina, why would you mention your band for an interview on an internationally read news site?"

If I need to explain why I would talk about my band in an interview on an internationally read news site, you might be the dumbest sack of shit on the planet. Of course I'm going to talk about my band. Why wouldn't I? It's a huge part of my life and a huge part about why I was able to keep the weight off. Do you have any idea how much pressure there is to keep fit when you're on stage in front of hundreds of people? A lot, that's how much! If I didn't have my band, I wouldn't have that much of a reason for wanting to stay in shape. I want to be able to run around like Bruce Dickinson.

I want to be able to live a long long time so I can make music into my senior years and not have to hobble around in front of a teleprompter. I want to be amazing for a long long time. That's why I mentioned my band, because my music is my life! I wave the flag of my band everywhere I go! What kind of shitty front person would I be if I didn't?

And furthermore, what kind of idiot wouldn't want to share that with the world?

So what's it like to be a woman in metal?

First of all, if you groaned or made any kind of eye rolling gesture at the title of this blurg, shut the fuck up and give me a fucking break. Not only am I sick of people getting pissy whenever anyone brings up the word "woman", but I'm sick of people getting pissy when I make any mention of my gender when talking about metal. Lets have some real talk.

A few days ago, Metal Sucks posted this fucking gem about why "It’s Time to Stop Thinking of Women in Metal as WOMEN in Metal" . This was in reference to me doing a Q & A on Jezebel, a feminist website for women. So Leyla at Metal Sucks decided to pick apart the idea of women calling attention to their gender because if we want to be treated equally, we should stop shouting our womenhood from the hills or some kind of bullshit like that. What she failed to mention is that Jezebel is a website for mainstream women, most of which have no idea what's going on in the metal world, as a way for me to say, "hey normal ladies, metal isn't so scary! It's actually full of women! Let me tell you what it's like!" So of course in my efforts to bring more people into metal, what happens? We get an article that tries to punish us for talking to ladies about being ladies because that's wrong somehow. And we get comments from the local metal trolls about how women don't belong in metal, how men do it better, and how in general, women in metal are a bunch of whores who use our tits to get ahead. (AHAHAHA) Ahead? In metal? Are you out of your mind??

Now look, I will be the first person to roll my eyes when a girl in a metal band uses her body to sell her band because it annoys me on a personal level.. hell, even the women who did that are suddenly discovering that people aren't as stupid as to equate boobs with good music. But does that mean that every time a woman calls herself a woman or says, "Hey, check it out, I'm a woman" she's doing something wrong? Fuck you, why is that wrong? Why aren't we even allowed to talk about our gender? Once again, men are telling us what is right and what is wrong. Being a woman in metal sucks sometimes. I'm the last person you will see trying to be sexy or trying to flaunt her body (lol) or anything like that, and I still have bad experiences in the metal scene from misogynists who think it's ok to put their hands on me whenever they want. You think I'm kidding? I just got back from a tour that we're calling "the tour where things got creepy".
I'm sure I'll get plenty of dudes who will say "well if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen!". Haha, fuck you. Fuck you and keep your fucking hands off me. If we've just met, I do not want to hug you. I reserve hugs (and touching of any kind) to people I choose to hug (like friends) and I do not need your lingering odor all over me because you think it's cool to embrace someone three times smaller than you over and over again. Take a hint. I understand that some people are socially awkward, but I don't think every creepy dude I encountered on this trip has autism. I think they're just used to thinking that hugging a woman over and over again is okay for some reason. Stop fucking hugging me. It's exhausting. Stop grabbing my hand and trying to pull me places. Have a conversation like a normal person. Would you hug a dude you just met over and over again? Probably not.

And that's why I'm sick of this whole "if you want to be treated equally, act like a guy!" bullshit. Are you fucking kidding me? I go out there in jeans and a t-shirt and I still have sweaty man children trying to fondle me. I don't allow strange men to buy me drinks because I think it's mean to lead men on, so don't even think of accusing me of it. I don't tell men I'm single, I don't tell men I'm available to date, all I do is tell them I'm in a band and if they'd like to stick around and watch the show I would appreciate it. You watching me does not mean you are allowed to grab me. Hands off.

That includes you, Facebook stalkers. Please, come say hello. I'm fine with saying hello. Just keep your hands off of me, don't get frighteningly drunk, and know when to say goodbye.

A Sound of Thunder Announces New Album, Smashes Crowd-Funding Goal in Four Days

Extra, extra! Read all about it! A Sound of Thunder's fans are fucking incredible!

Seriously. As of yesterday, we made our 1st stretch goal of $12,000. As of Monday, we made our original goal, $10,000, to finish recording The Lesser Key of Solomon. The stretch goal was added so we could do something fun (I REQUIRE FUN), so we said, hey, lets do something silly for the sake of all metal and record a female-perspective version of Pleasure Slave. Because what could be funnier than a bunch of dudes groaning as I sing about being served by them? NOTHING. So we said, hey, if people really want it, lets find out. Apparently, people really wanted it. Well, they wanted that, and all the other extras. Like... the hardcover book full of art and lyrics. The hockey jersey (my idea!!). The t-shirts. The limited edition CDs. People actually wanted this stuff and, lo and behold, people wanted us to cover their favorite songs that they were willing to shell out a thousand bucks (two people!) for a demo and THREE THOUSAND BUCKS for a professionally recorded version. Yes, someone likes us enough that they're gonna pay three grand just to hear us cover something.

Okay, I don't know about you, but that shit floored me. That and the fact that people like our products so much, the average pledge amount is a hundred bucks. So far, in a week, we've got 123 people who actually want to put money toward us playing and recording and making things. That is incredibly generous and awesome. To me, this says we've got not only fans, but a good product.. and we are the product! How's that for the best Halloween ever? Not only do I get to celebrate my favorite holiday, but my band is being financed by people who want to see us succeed. Truly, my black little heart is weeping tears of blood and mercury.

Now, after weeks of focusing on recording, we've got to get back to practicing the set so we can go on tour. The tour will last for a lot of the KickStarter so we can work on making new fans. By the time we get back, the KickStarter will almost be over and we can put that money toward finishing the album and, in my case... layout. Oh, layout. How I love and hate thee. If you didn't know, I do the layout for all of our products. CDs, records, books, everything. It saves us money and gives me the opportunity to get away with adding my own little touch to everything. I'm looking forward to all the photos of our fans we'll be adding, this time, as well as photos from the tour. If all goes well next week, we'll be recording video of us going to various eateries and posting them to YouTube, but that's another story.

Today is Halloween and today we celebrate that metal is indeed alive and well, thanks to incredible fans and a lot of good old fashioned hard work. And vodka.

Happy Halloween!!

This is Halloween!

I just had the most Halloween-filled weekend of my life! Friday - party. Saturday - party. Sunday - party... cleanup. Epic. During this weekend's festivities, it was difficult not to find myself glued to my phone since we also launched our new KickStarter campaign. After only a few days, we've nearly reached our half-point goal and LEMME TELL YA, I'm pretty shocked by how much people gave and how quickly! At this point I'm just worried it will slow down! I understand there's usually a lull after the initial boom period, so here's hoping it doesn't end too abruptly. Not only do we have to make our initial goal, but I -really- want to hit that $12k stretch goal so we can record Pleasure Slave.

And of course, just in time for Halloween, we finally introduce our new music video for I'll Walk With You! Hurray for gore!

Gratitude Project (in a nutshell)

So if you're on my friends list, odds are you've come across the "gratitude project" in which people will list one thing they're grateful for every day. Every year I see this and think, "that's a great idea!", and every year I feel kind of guilty for wanting to put what I'm grateful for on Facebook every day because it feels like bragging. So instead, I'm just gonna put it on this blurg for today because on the way into work, I had a thought.

It's freaking gorgeous outside, today. This is the kind of day I should be going on a trip to the beach with Willy to frolic amidst the sand in the sun. I hate being cooped up on pretty days, especially on a Monday when I'm tired and annoyed. However. Then I remember what it was like before I had a decent job, when waking up meant facing the realization that I'd been laid off one of those three times. The third time gave way to the most depressing moment of my life, when I was laid off from a job that I actually liked and where I actually tried really hard to be an upbeat productive member of a team. I came to work early every day. I got my work done early. I spoke up during every meeting, voicing my opinion, giving feedback, and generally acting like a leader in an area I had actual knowledge in (educational gaming software) only for them to tell me, after a few months, that the client no longer wanted a fun game and they wouldn't need me anymore. Bye bye. Go away. The receptionist will see you out.

Oh. Okay.

Enter a good month of depression where I applied to every single job in the world and was THIS CLOSE to waitressing at a seafood restaurant. I have no shame when it comes to work. I do not believe in jobs being "beneath me". I believe in jobs and I believe in working hard because when my parents came to this country, they had nothing. I've got a college degree, so what's my excuse for not working? Oh, it doesn't pay enough? Too fucking bad. I was willing to work at McDonalds until I could find better. I wound up working in a greenhouse, which I actually sort of enjoyed because I love plants and I was able to grow food on our balcony on the cheap. I was getting paid half of what I was used to and living in a studio apartment with another human and my cat. It was sad. I was sad. All the time. This was actually when I met Josh and Chris and was introduced to A Sound of Thunder, which made me very not sad. This was also when I got married! Even during the worst time of my life, I had blessings. I'm fortunate.

And now? I can't even begin to list my blessings. Not only do I have a good job in the city (which I love), but it pays well. I can get overtime. I get to wear dresses and get mani/pedis every two weeks. I make enough money to pay for whatever car I want and live in a nice neighborhood with nice neighbors. I can walk to my grocery store. I can afford artisan cheese every week. I can eat a low carb diet and feel healthy. Despite my many complaints about my body, I'm very healthy and can function as a productive member of society. I'm not disfigured in any way, so dudes still buy me drinks. I've got a band. I'm recording a new album. There are people all over the world who listen to me and enjoy hearing me sing. I have fans. I still have a 27" waist. I have someone who loves me. My teeth are straight.

I can't list all my blessings on here because there are way too many. I'm lucky, not just because I was given a great family with great values, but because I inherited their work ethic. I see ladies cleaning sinks and cutting grass, and (our race in common aside...), that could easily have been me. I could be the janitor working at the office building, but instead I'm the lady in the dress sitting at the front desk. I might get annoyed with some tenets of the job, but who isn't sometimes? The fact is that I was able to move up from a greenhouse to a place that will allow me to live in a way that I don't only enjoy, but love. So instead of being annoyed that I have to be at work on a Monday, I'm thankful that I get to be at work on a Monday. Sure, some people have it better, but some people also have it much much worse.

And at least I get to go for a nice walk on my lunch break.

I must be delicious!

It's been a few weeks since I started the 5k-a-day challenge. I've kept up with it, mostly, by running a 5k every time I go to the gym. There are days when I can't do it (my mom comes to have lunch with me), and I wind up not going, but I still run so even if I miss two days out of the week, I'm clocking in a good 9+ miles. All that being said, I've lost absolutely no weight. Why? Probably due to the 4th of July and all the other excuses I make for eating something stupid during the week. I'm not one of those people who can say "I run 15 miles a week so I can eat what I want!", because while I may run 15 miles a week, it sure doesn't look like I do, even if I'm in better shape now than I've ever been in my entire life.

But that's what sucks about having my body-type. I don't look like I can run for a long time or spend hours in the sun doing strenuous work, but I can. Yesterday I spent the entire day outside, filming a music video in the sun. I wore heavy boots and jeans and I felt absolutely miserable with how I looked. I know I'm heavier than I was last year, but was I in good shape last year? No, which is what makes it all so frustrating. I was just fine running from zombies in the heat, but my mind was focused on how I looked. It's distracting and annoying. I'm proud of myself and ashamed at the same time.

So, here's to me making yet another attempt to eat clean for a few weeks in the hopes that it will help me lose the extra weight I've put on. It's not like I eat a lot, but those tiny allowances I've made for myself this past year have clearly caught up with me and I can't forget that the whole reason I've made the decision to not live my life as a fat-ass is because of the people who matter the most to me.

My band.

Also, my husband, though he'd love me no matter what.

Go ahead, there's plenty to go around!

Thanksgiving!

It's that time of the year, again. The time when everyone posts what they're thankful for on Facebook, leaving you to question your own life and figure out what it is that you're thankful for.

I have a lot of be thankful for, I know. Willy reminds me constantly. And I try to tell them, as often as I can, how much I appreciate having a band that is as talented and fun to be with as mine. So allow me to gush a little bit.

1. Jesse. Finally, a bass player who can not only play bass well, and by EAR no less, but who can also play keyboard so I don't have to. A bass player who has character, who moves around the stage with me, who plays along when I do goofy singer things, who actually SINGS with me. Jesse, who is definitely the best looking person on stage, taking the attention way from me every night with his curly hair and Undertaker-like hat. I am so thankful for Jesse that I'm willing to put a tracking device in his neck and keep it active for the rest of his life.

2. Chris. Hands down the best drummer I've ever known, and I didn't even need to sell my first born child to get him! This is a guy who pushes himself without needing someone else to do it for him. A guy who actually really wants to be the best. He's a gaddamn show off, and even if Josh says it throws off the attention sometimes (lol), I don't particularly mind because how many other bands can say they have a drummer who can do the shit he does? I'm thankful because after going through, what 6-7 drummers in the past, he's the first guy I've ever met who can just do the things you ask him to do without an issue. "Hey Chris, how about you throw some double bass in there?" How does he answer? Does he say, "I'll work on it, later" like the French dude I played with for one show who came to rehearsal with a huge shiny kit and a zebra striped drum mat? No, he just does it. Because he's Chris and he can.

3. Josh. Okay, he annoys the hell out of me, but there's no denying that he can play circles around all the other jack-offs in this town. Plus, he knows how to write music that isn't boring and stupid. And yes, there's a lot of other things I could say about him (he's one of my best friends at this point) but I'm sticking to music. I'd murder him if he tried to leave. I would go straight up Misery on his ass and break his ankles. He knows this. I will not be forced to work with another shitty guitarist who plays in drop D because it sounds "heavy". I will never be forced to sing Paranoid again.

I'm thankful for these three guys. Not just because it's good to play with them, and write with them, but because I can hang with them. When we tour, it's not just work. It's like a vacation. A magical smelly vacation full of heavy metal and BBQ. After having spent more than a week on the road with these guys, I know there's nothing else I'd rather be doing than get cooped up in a van and driven all over the country to play in front of audiences that could go from tens to hundreds. I love it and I love them.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Mission: SUCCESS!

Well, I can breathe now. Metal Quest was indeed a success, and now I don't have to worry about another show until this Friday when we play with Kamelot. HOWEVER, that show isn't a show I put together myself! All I gotta go is make myself presentable and put on a good show. WHEW. For those of you who were not there on Saturday, here's a quick recap.

Metal Quest started out in a flurry of putting together goodie bags and setting up merch tables. Third Eye Comics couldn't spare anyone, so we wound up not having any vendors besides Raven's Own. I was fine with that. We had room for all the bands to sell their things and nobody complained. Hurray! We brought water and beer for the bands, because at the end of the day, I was worried that we wouldn't make enough money to give them something, and we (A Sound of Thunder) at least wanted to give them some food and drink for their trouble. All of the bands were extremely cordial and appreciative, so it made my job much easier.

So the show started an hour late because the venue said it was cool, and people came! They DID! Ender's Game went on at 7 and they actually had a good crowd, thank goodness, because they were fantastic. As a matter of fact, when I was running around getting organized, their sound check suddenly made me feel very calm. That's how good they were. I was personally worried that the bands would either be rushed, or, they wouldn't have enough time, so I was strict with the timing and did a load schedule. Well it worked, but only because all of the bands were so great and professional! Everyone went on/off stage on time and we finished at the correct time! It all felt very good and natural. The best part is that despite talking all day, introducing all of the bands, and being worried about door sales, I actually put on one of my best performances. The guys and I had, I think, the best crowd we've ever had. The floor was full of people! I was very happy about it. At the end of the night, we made enough through door sales and pre-sales that we didn't operate at much of a loss. The only money we lost was for food and drinks, but that's fine. We're able to send some money to the Hero Initiative charity, and that's what matters.

This Friday, like I said, is gonna be a lot less stressful. I'm hoping a big name like Kamelot will draw as big as it did last time I played with them, which was maybe 4 years ago now. That time, the place was absolutely packed. Unfortunately, it's Prog Power weekend, so I know a lot of people will be out of town. Here's hoping that enough people are left to give us a good crowd! We've pre-sold a lot of tickets, so I know we'll have some folks there for us, at least. To be honest, I was never a HUGE Kamelot fan. They're okay, but they never really got me like, say, Edguy. I do really like their new lead vocalist though, so maybe things will be different this time. In any case, it should be a good night. I even took Friday off so I could rest my voice and be at 100%. Not sure what I'll wear, though. This weekend had a decidedly nerdy theme. Perhaps something a bit more.... ethereal? Nah. I'll figure it out. In the meantime, I think some much needed rest is in order. I've spent way too much time being the boss! It's time for me to let someone else be the boss, for a while. At least until the itch to put together another show comes! ...oh wait, there it is.

Metal Quest bands:

• Ender's Game
• Burning Shadows
• Dethlehem
• A Sound of Thunder
• Aries
• Rare Candy

Oh, bands...

So I've noticed a trend, when it comes to bands. Please keep in mind, this is not all bands. This is just some bands.

Okay, so here's the thing. If you offer a band payment up front for their work, wouldn't you expect that band to like... plug the show? Advertise the show? Get their fans hyped because HOLY SHIT, a promoter isn't making you sell tickets for once? Right? Wouldn't you try not to take advantage of the fact that this is a paying gig and actually try to make the show a success? Well apparently, some bands don't feel this way. Some bands see dollar signs and decide to just show up, play, and leave. No plugs, no ads, not even a Facebook post.

Well a great big FUCK YOU to those bands. Do you know how hard it is to put together a show from scratch? All for the love of music? Why are people so fucking selfish? When someone treats you decently, you should probably also treat them decently. Promoters do everything in their power to make shows a success, but we are not miracle workers. If you want your band to be a success, you should probably do your part and PLUG THE SHOW YOU'RE PLAYING. How can you expect to make any kind of leap forward if you don't even have the decency to plug your own show?

And furthermore, why do I let people take advantage of me in this way?

Hay, ya'll!

So this is a good week, so far. Been eating clean, feeling good (except for the nausia, but I'm learning to live with it), and spent a FABULOUS weekend in PA with my family. Willy and I went to Hershey Park, and there was a very minimal amount of chocolate binging.

One ice cream cone ain't bad, right?

But I'm shedding the pounds for a wedding I'll be attending in August, so no more ice cream for me.

Now on to other things.. I'm usually not one to beg, but, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help me out, guys. If you could find it in the goodness of your heart to visit this link and vote for A Sound of Thunder so that we can open for KISS, I will be forever grateful. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.

..and now I am done grovelling.

(please!)

Click here to vote!

Greek Yogurt and UK Distribution

Today, I ate Greek yogurt. In an effort to either fix myself or drive myself into a deep depression, I'm trying to eat normally. I had oatmal for breakfast, and brought yogurt and a sandwich for lunch. Dunno if I can bring myself to eat the sandwich, but I will try.

In other news, my band is now with Ravenheart Music! It's a small distribution group in the UK that specializes in female fronted rock and metal, and they will soon be distributing our music accross the pond. Hurray!! The show on Friday was amazing, by the way. With the exception of my singing terribly off-key due to my not being able to hear my guitarist for a certain song (AHHHHH.........!!!), everything else was awesome! We even made a valuable contact in the booking agent of Metal Mike, a very cool guy indeed.

And now, I leave you with the conversation I just had with my husband.

potatofoot: well, you got my attention, how can i help?

me: No idea!
Tell me something sexy.

potatofoot: i am at work, in an open room, with three people being able to watch my monitor

me: Hot.
What are you wearing?

Chick can DRUM..

So last night was pretty bad-ass. I helped out my friend Bobbie in putting together a Battle of the Bands event for Flight of the Valkyries, in which the winner would be able to play first for the show. It was a major success, a ton of people showed up. The bands that played were:

[geist]
Acid Queen
Scarz Within
and
Cypher Lock

All of the bands put up a good fight, but in the end, [geist] took home the glory. But that's not what I wanna talk about. What I wanna talk about is Cypher Lock's drummer, Mariah. Mariah is a girl. Who drums. Mariah is also a big girl. Who drums. And drums AMAZINGLY. Now, I don't know if ya'll know this about metal drummers, but they do a lot of stuff. I mean holy shit, usually metal drummers are pouring sweat and working every single one of their muscles. Well, Mariah made it look easy. Personally, she made that band for me. I was so impressed by her that I wished I could steal her away.

You go, Mariah.

Coooool!!

Well, I can say this about working with A Sound of Thunder.. it's hella-easy to get gigs! We're opening for Primal Fear in a few weeks, and thankfully, aren't going on first! Hahaha.. I love it.

For those of you unfamiliar with Primal Fear, here is a bit of them. 80's metal type people will probably like their classic metal sound and clean vocals.



This should be a good night. If you're in the DC area on May 21st, I highly recommend coming down to Springfield, VA for a good night of metal and boozing.

Also, the 'Thunder has a new MySpace page up! Go check it out for awesomeness.

Woooooooback!

Well I'm back to my old ways of demoralizing myself. Did a gig on Saturday, and after giving this whole, "I don't need to be thin! I'm talented! Fuck everyone!" speech, and eating french fries.. I immediately regretted it after seeing the photos.

God, my thighs are horrible.

So I'm back on my diet, and kinda grateful for it. I hate the way I feel when I eat "normal". I've been nauseous for weeks, and I'm hoping that eating clean will take that away.

Now for other news, not sure if ya'll who follow this blog knew this, but I am with another band. A Sound of Thunder has more of an Iron Maiden/power metal feel, which matches my personality a bit more. I love the guys in it, and hanging out with them is always a blast. We already have a CD out, and we're about to release a single for the West Memphis 3. I'll post more on that later, once the song is up.

But in the meantime, this is what we've got out right now! You can also search for "A Sound of Thunder" on iTunes.

I'm out!

Well, me and Blood Corps are no more. It turns out I really wasn't appreciated there, just as I feared. But now it's over, I'm out of a toxic relationship that made me physically ill and I'm never going to put myself in that position again. It was like breaking up with my abusive ex-boyfriend all over again.

I was in such a good mood this morning, I actually ate oatmeal. I was really hungry, I can't eat meat because it's Friday, so I got oatmeal. I'm trying not to feel bad about it. Imagine, feeling bad about eating oatmeal... but yes, I feel the guilt, and it's really hard to keep from feeling fat.

Ugh, well, the good news is that as soon as I came home last night, it was to two e-mails with gigs! One at the Rock n' Roll Hotel in DC, the other to place in Chicago.

Freedom, here I come!

What de fook?

Someone posted an article in Facebook today, talking about this model from Victoria's Secret and how she's hella thin. I was all, "Well they all are.." but then I saw the picture. Apparently, she's standing next to two "plus sized" models.Woah, wait a second.. "plus sized"?! How the hell are those chicks plus sized?? I'm not gonna get all up in arms about the skinny chick.. I mean, if she's skinny, she's skinny, I don't care.. but those two girls beside her are apparently "plus sized" models for Victoria's Secret. Being a size 6, I can honestly say that I'm MUCH bigger than those girls. Of course, that's a today's version of a size 6, which might be more like a traditional size 10....... but either way!! How the hell are they plus sized!? That's fucking crazy! Fuck you, Victoria's Secret, and your ultra comfortable (and expensive) bras!! I'd boycott you if I knew where to buy better underwear... but unfortunately, you do make some really good shit.

Gaddamn it.

Anyhow, back to my day.. I'm pretty nauseous this morning, because tonight I have to have that inevitable meeting with Blood Corps. Basically, this is my "either you guys learn to treat me with respect, our I am OUT" meeting. I've been getting increasingly unhappy with having to deal with them lately, and last week's gig kinda put the icing on the cake. I was blamed for everything from our bass player being late, to our CDs being printed incorrectly. And then praised for my performance, once it was done.

I'm just really sick of it. I'm sick of them ignoring my suggestions, rolling their eyes, treating me like my opinions don't matter, and then throwing out anything I've ever created in favor of repetative riffs and "radio friendly" metal ideas. I have a feeling they'd be happier if they created a cover band, anyway.. can you believe that they played "Paranoid" as a sound check?? It was embarassing. I felt horrible. Not only is it the worst Black Sabbath song they ever wrote, but it was OUR SOUND CHECK!! It was a chance for people to get a glimpse of us before the show, and what do they do?? They play a cover. Someone else's music. I am so tired of being around people who are either incapable of writing good music, or just don't have the drive for it. Tonight, I'm gonna tell them how I feel. It's either gonna make, or break this band. But I can't take it, anymore.

A night of ADVENTURE!

Every so often, I enjoy having random adventures with my goons. Today, I was scheduled to work from 12AM to 12PM, which meant that I'd need to somehow sleep through Sunday in order to stay up all night for work. My brilliant plan? Stay out all Saturday!!

It all started at around 5:00 PM, at Jaxx. My buddy Josh and I hung out at the famous dive bar in Springfield VA, notoritious for it's metal reputation, despite the fact that it's somehow trying to become a more mainstream venue. (Lame.) We watched a new up and coming band that reminded me a lot of Dethklok, and they actually recognized me as the lead singer of Blood Corps! Quite a few people recognized me, in fact. It was pretty awesome. They all really got a kick out of my performance with A Sound of Thunder, so Josh and I (who plays guitar for ASOT) were pretty proud.

We travelled far from Jaxx, to the mystical land of Alexandria VA, in search of late-night munchies for our drug-like junk food craving; pupusas. For those of you who do not know, pupusas are a Salvadorian food near and dear to my heart. They are made of corn meal, and full of pork and cheese, flattened like tortillas. They're eaten with pickled cabbage and tomato sauce. I love them. Hard. Unfortunately, by the time we got there, the place was closing.. so I had to deal with Salvadorian style tacos, instead. Which were AMAZING, by the way. If you're ever in Arlington and want cheap (and good!) food, I recommend going to El Charrito.

After El Charrito, we continued our adventure in one of my favorite areas of DC; Dupont Circle. Having a craving for bad karaoke, we went into a Japanese sushi and karaoke bar called Cafe Japone, where we drank $9 Sapporos and listened to 50 people sing simultaneously horrible. It was worth it for the drunken people.

After leaving Cafe Japone, we moved my car, and made our way toward my new favorite DC hot spot; Omega. Omega is a gay karaoke bar that I went to on the day before my wedding rehearsal, in July. I had such a good time that I figured I'd take Josh. Well lemme tell ya, it's a much different place on the weekend! There were five dudes on the bar, dancing in thongs. It was pretty great, lemme tell ya.. we got a few drinks and enjoyed the festivities, and I even put a dollar in this one dude's thigh-strap! Unfortunately, he kept trying to get my attention.. and me, being who I am, well I didn't want to insult him. So I giggled and said "thank you!" to all of his compliments.

Then he asked for my number. "Wait a sec!" my brains screamed. "This is wrong!!" and then I felt him press his sack to my face. And then he kissed me. Thankfully, Josh rescued me from the psuedo-gay, and we spent a few hours hanging out and watching the buff dudes gyrate.

At last call, he and I left for the nearby CVS so that he could buy some eye droppers to his eyeballs. Once they were sufficiently lubricated, we wandered about looking for a place to sober up. We managed to find a pizza joint somewhere along P street, but I've been scouring Google Maps for like, 20 minutes, and I can't for the life of me find it!! When we got there, at 4AM, it was swarmed with the drunk crowd. We sat down and ate some pizza, drank a couple diet cokes, and then left in search of coffee.

Around 4:30 AM we finally found a place for coffee, The DC Cafe, where we drank down black coffee in styrofoam cups and met a surprising amount of Persians. I think like, 90% of the people in there were Persian. They asked where I was from, and when I said "Spain", we got into a conversation about how Spain is a historically Muslim country. "Of course, we're proud of that!" I said, narrowly dodging that half our pride comes from the fact that we defeated them in battle and stole all of their palaces..

Then Josh made the mistake of saying he was Jewish, so I rescued him from an argument and, finally sober, we made our way home.

Yeah. I love this city.

Parasite?

This week has been hell.

I had band practice on Tuesday night, followed by Wednesday which was chock-full of food poisoning. Then a gig. Today I have band practice again, but after that gig I got a whopping 5 hours of sleep and am now insanely tired. Also, my neck hurts from the headbanging, and my stomach is still killing me.

Ugh.......