Today, I ran four miles. Was it worth the exhaustion? The jello-like feeling in my lower body? Sure! But holy crap, whenever I'm on that treadmill it's like one part confidence and ten parts torture.
The story is that in 2012 I gained like.. 15lbs. It sucks. I'm getting rid of it. My lowest weight was 122 and I'm trying to make my way back there. A few weeks ago, the day after Thanskgiving, I was HORRIFIED to discover that I was 140lbs. HOLY CRAP. "This is your way back to old Nina", I told myself. Never again. Old Nina (or, actually, young Nina..) was 180lbs. If I continued on my path, I knew I'd be back there. So, while it was difficult with the constant Holiday celebrations, I managed to curb my bad eating. I only indulged on sweets and junk during actual parties, or the holidays themselves. During my trip to Phoenix, I allowed myself to eat some stuff I wouldn't usually get because hey, how often do I get to fly to Phoenix?? (It was awesome, by the way...) and all that willpower actually worked. I didn't gain any more weight, and since I've kept up with my gym visits during the week I've gone down to 136lbs. Now, don't get me wrong. For someone 5' tall, this is still absolutely terrible. But hey, it's 4lbs lighter than I was during Thanksgiving, and that ain't bad.
Now that the holidays are over (my birthday next weekend does NOT count!), it's a lot easier to eat clean. I've been planning our meals in advance and only buying groceries for those meals, and for snacks allowed according to my dietary restrictions. It's hard because there are nights when I just wanna crash in front of the TV and mindlessly eat chips and salsa. Instead, I've got pickles and hard boiled eggs. It's not exactly a perfect substitution, but since I'm not hungry it allows me the ability to tell myself, "Hey, you're not hungry. You just want to eat because you want to eat." And that's not good, so no, I'm not over here eating an entire bowl of eggs and pickles. I take a bite and realize I'm being stupid.
So yeah, down four pounds as of today. I've got 11 pounds to go before I'm at my lowest weight, so that there is my goal. If I can keep it up, I know all make it.
Oh, did I mention I spent 30 minutes doing heavy upper body weightlifting? Ow.