Oh my gooooooooodness!!

Okay, so tonight is gonna be a big night. Tonight, my band opens for Edguy, one of my favorite metal bands of all time. If all goes well (which it hardly ever does), I'll be arriving at 5 with my roadies to park in the back with the buses. HOPEFULLY it won't rain, which means we'll get to load and unload on time. On time is such a silly thing to hope for, when doing shows. Things hardly ever start on time, due to flaky bands and buses that break down, but we'll see. The show should start at 8, with one of my favorite local metal bands, Eternal Winter. The first time I saw them, they were opening for Sonata Arctica, and I squealed every time their lead vocalist did high notes. I can't wait to see them again!!

Only issue I have with shows nowadays is deciding what I want to wear. Having such an unusual body shape, it's hard to find clothes that fit the right way. I have a short torso, a wide rib cage, wide hips, and a small waist. Oh, and a ginormous butt. As you can see from this photo, it's a little hard for me to find pants that won't completely fall apart. Pants are built for tall people, and even if I buy them in "short" (which I can rarely do...) they have these long torsos that reach my belly button!! It's pretty frustrating, because when they're fit to accommodate my giant thighs and butt, they're also fit for someone with a gut. Which I no longer have. So I've got all this leftover fabric in my waist that goes all the way up to my belly button, or worse, PAST my belly button like an old man. Which means I'll push them down to fit my hips, but now they're all baggy in the crotch and butt area and I'm screwed all over again. I'm talking about a specific pair of LEATHER PANTS here... a pair I got for a steal, which are now way too big, but gaddamn it I wanna wear them at least ONCE!! I have nothing else to wear, really. Since Willy destroyed my fishnet pantyhose (TMI? Anyone?) I can't wear a skirt. And my black bondage pants don't fit at the hips, so I can't wear those either.

Oh, the woes of a metal singer... it's not easy looking good on stage. You can tell, because I hardly every do!! But tonight I hope that I can. I'll be wearing my evil coat, with evil gloves and evil boots. And hopefully, if I wear a classy button down shirt (with the bewbies slightly exposed), I'll be able to pull off the oversized leather pants. We'll see. Either way, I'm so freaking excited about tonight!!

Practice, issues, sad.

So last night we found out that Skittles broke his arm. Very sad and upsetting to see him hurt. Ashley (my keyboard player) has had it rough this week, too. While at the moment I have a few money issues, I just can't allow myself to feel too bad. I went through a hideous "low" last week that involved stomach pain, depression and nausea, and I just don't want it to come back. I have no control over my highs and lows, but in a way I feel that last week's "low" was a blessing. If I were going through a low in my current state, I'd likely be suicidal.

But tomorrow night we have a show, and despite the fact that it's not a big one and we're not an opener, I am still excited. I love playing in front of people. I was born to perform and make people happy. When I play, I want people to feel that squealing joy that I get when I listen to someone like Edguy. And that's not going to happen unless we play. So, I'll be praying for Skittle's wellbeing, and hoping that he heals soon. Not just for the band, but because I like him a lot, and a guy that nice doesn't deserve to be in pain.

Besides, the cast totally doesn't go with his heels.

I'm excited for the weekend for a few reasons. First, the show of course.. but also, I'm excited about being able to sleep in, tomorrow. I've tried getting used to sleeping at 12 and getting up at 5:30, but, I just can't do it. My body can't handle not having enough sleep. It might have something to do with my recent eating habits, which incidentally, have more to do with my limited budget and time more than my eating inhibitions. I'm not entirely convinced that those are gone, though. Last night I tried to eat a sandwich, and I couldn't stomach it. I ate half of it for breakfast today and now I feel this combination of guilt and nausea. I HATE HATE HATE wasting food. I don't want to throw it away. My only choice is to save it and hope Willy willy eat it. Which he probably will.

It's really unfair. I got my swimsuit and I'm excited to wear it, but my legs are still terrible, YET, my ribs are clearly visible. My upper body is okay, my arms aren't as toned as I would like but they're not awful and you can SEE MY FUCKING RIBS. Like, not in a good way. My clavacle and collar bones are clearly visible, too. I think my body is some kind of medical anomoly. And it pisses me off.

Last night's meeting..

So last night's meeting with our new producer went pretty well. Yes, it's a huge step, and yes, it's going to be a huge sacrifice on all of our parts. As hard as we work already, now we're going to have to work 10x more. It's more than a second job, now.

I'm in a class right now, prepping Photoshop CS3-Level 2. I'm grateful that I know most of the material, and really all I have to do is brush up on a few things to make sure I'm familliar enough with them to be able to teach it. No big deal. I'm actually excited about teaching Photoshop this Thursday and Friday. They're 2 day classes, and the big thing that I have to remember to do is STRETCH and EXTEND and give them more than what the course gives because honestly, it's only like... 6 lessons? In two days? Yeah.

Anyway, sitting in this class and listening to the Edguy CD I bought off of iTunes. It's their Theatre of Salvation album and I highly reccomend it, if you're a power metal fan. Basically, if you like 80's metal. Now the reason I'm listening to this, (besides my love of power metal), is because Blood Corps, my baby, my band, is opening for them in October. Them and Kamelot. This is a big deal. These bands are VERY big, in the power metal world. Despite the fact that power metal fans are few and far between... they do exist. And when power metal bands come, their fans come out in throngs, and it is SO WONDERFUL to be surrounded by fellow power metal fans.

People who appreciate beautiful vocals, talented instrumentalists, good harmonics? It makes me so happy. And to think that I'll be singing for these people? And they'll appreciate it? It makes me want to cry.

Also, the idea that I will get to meet Tobias Sammet, the lead singer of both Edguy and his project, Avantasia, it just blows my mind. Aventasia is one of those album series that influenced my voice. When I hear his wavering verbrattos, his high tones, they make me fucking SQUEAL. Willy is worried that I will squeal when I meet him, or Tony Kakko, the lead singer of Sonata Arctica, who we'll be opening for in August, and honestly? I'll have to try so hard not to. I'm supposed to be "one of them", now. And while I'm confident in my skills as a vocalist, and in my ability to sing with the best of them, it's just going to be so overwhelming to meet the men who made me want to do it in this style.

I can literally listen to them sing and have tears come from my eyes. There's something so magical about the way they sing. You can't say that about pop musicians. People don't sit and listen to Britney Spears and cry. Tobias Sammet has so much emotion in his voice. I can -feel- what he's singing. Like an opera singer, he puts his chest, his heart, into his vocals. I could go on all day about how much I adore this man and what he does, but there you go. It's out. I am in love with power metal vocals, and by all that is holy, by Odin, I swear that someday I will stand amongst them. A Valkyrie amongst Vikings.

Onward my brothers!!