Since I'm six months from my wedding day, I find myself becoming addicted to bridal shows. The one I watched last night was "Bulging Bride", a show about brides who want to be thin on their wedding day, and go through grueling exersize and dieting regiments to get there. It was an interesting show, but only because I tend to compare myself to these women. The woman in last night's episode was extremely similar to me, in terms of size and shape. She was taller than me, weighed more, and was bigger in size overall.. so why did she look so much thinner?? It boggled my mind, so I asked Willy to measure me. The results were mind-boggling. I have a 26" waist, and 40" hips.
I've lost a good 3" from my waist, and nothing from my hips. I don't think my thighs have gone down, either. It feels like no matter what, I'm doomed to live this way. My ribs and collarbones are clearly visible, yet I still have thighs too fat for me to wear a skirt or shorts. I've got an hourglass body, not the pear shape I thought I had before. Hourglass because my ribcage is strangely big for me. I have a feeling it's to compensate for my eventually enormous hooters when I have a kid, like my mom and sister have. I wish I didn't have to wait that long...
I'm just so annoyed, right now. It feels like none of the things I do will get me any closer to my goal, and I want to give up, but I hate the thought of being a failure. I refuse to fail. I've never given up on a dream before, and I can't do it with this one.
I -will- wear a mini skirt someday. I -will- wear a bikini. I will.