Thursday, November 5, 2009

My Apologies

Sorry for being such a downer here, folks. As you can see, my bipolar disorder tends to have it's ups and downs, and lately I've been on an enormous down. Luckily, I'm not the sort to seriously consider suicide. Think about it? Sure. Seriously consider it? No. Therapy helped with that, if nothing else. I have a feeling that my ego is too big to allow for suicide. Basically: "People would be showering me with all that attention, and I wouldn't be around to experience it!?" That's why I can't entertain thoughts on killing myself for more than a few seconds.

Mostly I think about ways to pull myself out of this gutter, which pulls me in a million directions at once. Right now, I'm in two bands. They're great distractions. Last night I learned that my band might have the opportunity to open for Hammerfall, which, I will tell you, would be amazing for me. Lemme explain why:

Three years ago, Willy and I were still in college. We were on a date, and stopped off at the mall. We were in our World of Warcraft phase at that point, and were drawn to this CD in FYI called "Hammerfall". Why? It's the name of the city in Warcraft where my character was born. So, we listened, and OH MY GOD. I had been listening to 80's hair metal at the time and was dissatisfied. Hammerfall drew me into the world of power metal. We bought the CD and loved it. Here is an example of Hammerfall's greatness. If you like songs about rescuing princesses and fighting evil hordes and the glory of honor, plus clean vocals set to metal, you might dig Hammerfall.

Days later, I bought all of their other albums, and then learned about people like Blind Guardian and Edguy. I dug deeper and deeper, but it wasn't until we went to our first concert together, Dragonforce, until I realized what I needed to do; make my own band.

And so, months later, as I was bored at work and perusing the intrawebz, I put up a post on Craigslist. The rest is history. But the thing is, it all started with Hammerfall, and for that, I am eternally grateful. I never got to see them in concert, and it would be a dream come true if I could play on the same stage as they. And if I could meet them beforehand? I think I'll probably have to hide my tears.

So pray for me, ya'll. It won't be the answer to all of my prayers, but it will be a defining experience of my life.

1 comment:

screwdestiny said...

Well, I'll definitely be praying that something good can happen to you in the midst of the crappy stuff that's been going on.