Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Nina's Top 10 Sexiest Journalists

BEHOLD! MY top 10 sexy journalists...

Kamahl Santamaria - Al Jazeera

Less well known than his fellow shiny-toothed news brethren, like Aladdin, Kamahl is a diamond in the rough. His friendly smile and happy demeanor allow us to look past the sand, and into the man. Hopefully as time progresses, we will see more of this happy go lucky guy, hopefully without mortars exploding behind him.

Sam Champion - ABC (Good Morning America)

His name says it all. Sam is the "tall, blonde, and charming" type of guy who looks like a prince, sounds like a prince, and is likely the descendant of some sort of Swedish royal family. He could easily father the Third Reich all by himself, and we wouldn't fault him for it. Who wouldn't want to be ruled by a legion of sexy supermen? I certainly wouldn't mind.

Max Foster - CNN

With the voice of an angel and the chin of a god, Max is the very essense of "News". He's the sort of guy who could tell you that the world is coming to an end, while still managing to send a thrill up your spine. Know no fear, Max. Know no fear.

Matt Lauer - NBC (The Today Show)

Known for his role as host of the Today Show, Matt has a way of smiling that lets you know he's a people person. If this is the sort of guy who kicks dogs and spits at the homeless, you wouldn't know it by his friendly demeanor. He has chisseled features that are in no way slighted by his short hair cut; in fact, the short do seems to allow his naturally handsome features to shine even more brightly.

Stephen Colbert - Comedy Central (The Colbert Report)

Although technically, not a real journalist, Stephen Colbert still brings the US it's news through satire and laughter. It can not be denied, however, that his face is finely sculpted, and his teeth blindingly white.

John Vause - CNN

A skilled performer with a sexy little Superman curl, John can cheer up any destitute child he finds in the 3rd world countries he reports from. One can only hope that he doesn't get maleria, or anything else that would reduce his sweet sweet ass.

Bill Hemmer - Fox News

A "good ole boy" American type of guy, Bill brings us back to our suburban lives with a charming smile, and the body that seems to scream "FOOTBAAAALL WOOOOO!!!!!". In truth however, he is an intelligent young man, who's expertise can only be outmatched by the size of his shoulders.

Dr. Sanjay Gupta - CNN

A ridiculously good looking man with a heart of gold, we can only imagine how God managed to roll everything a woman has ever needed into a tight, hard, brown package. Dr. Gupta not only speaks like a genius, he actually turned down a job from the single most charismatic man in the world, President Obama. Proof that the myth about Asians having small junk can not be true, because this man has got some seriously righteous balls.

Tom Brokaw - NBC (Nightly News)

Like an eagle, Tom soars through the airwaves and into our hearts. His dark, deep, slightly nasal voice is a memory that brings us to every tradgedy that has happened in the past 20 years. His is a bittersweet tune; a bone chilling aria that leaves us begging for more.

Anderson Cooper - CNN

Like an iconic symbol of pure masculinity and sex, Anderson Cooper is the sort of man that makes other men look like babbling monkey people. Mr. Cooper has the sort of otherworldly alien attractiveness that is nothing short of awe inspiring. His teeth are white, his suits are crisp, and his hair is so fair that it is made of 100% pure platinum. It is quite possible that Anderson Cooper is an amalgamation of all good things, put together, like an increadibly sexy Frankenstein's Monster. May his sperm never impragnate a mortal woman, lest she give birth to what can only be described as the son of a god.


screwdestiny said...

Lol! Loved it, Nina. Although I didn't know a good half of the journalists since I try to avoid news at all costs.

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