So last night I sinned horribly. No, not by breaking my diet and eating at CeCe's Pizza, which is actually pretty gross and will likely never see me again.. but by internally judging an overweight person.
I saw this lady, last night. CeCe's is an all-you-can-eat pizza buffet with really crappy pizza, but it's cheap, so you usally see families with their kids there. I was there with Willy after we spent the entire evening grocery shopping, which gave me no time to cook. We decided to have a "cheat night" because after he got his terrible cholesterol scores back from the doctor (yeah, he only stuck to his diet for about a week..) he promised that he'd eat better. I don't mean to be a jerk, and I'm trying really hard to help him stick to the diet, but I always become the bad guy. So at this point I'm trying to keep my mouth shut and let him make his own decisions.
Anyway, getting back on topic, I saw this lady with her kids. Lady must have been around 300 with some change, and she had three daughters with her that were slowly catching up. Now, me being the bitch that I am, I'm thinking to myself, "Holy crap, the last thing this woman needs is a pizza buffet..", but here I am doing the same thing. And the moment I tell Willy I'm ashamed of myself for being there, he gives me this, "Don't become one of those people," shpiels. "Those" people? Who are those people? Healthy people? Or obsessive people?
Am I healthy, or obsessive for not wanting to eat junk food ever, and feeling ashamed when I do? I'm not sure. With Willy, I'm obsessive. I have a problem. With healthy people, I'm healthy, I'm doing the right thing for avoiding junk food and trying to keep my husband safe from it. I'm tired of getting these mixed messages. I love my husband, but it's obvious that eating badly is hurting him and he doesn't want to change because he wants junk food too much. While we were shopping, he told me that the thing that always blows it for him is having to eat the same thing over and over. He eats the same thing over and over because he isn't willing to eat OTHER HEALTHY THINGS. All he likes is junk food! And since I have to cook for the both of us, I'm constantly cooking the same thing to appease his 5 year old picky eating tendancies. I can't even cook fish because it makes him sick when he smells it. He's practically banned an entire food group!!
I don't want to lose him by a heart attack at 30. How do I fix my gaddamn husband!??!
And no, refraining from sex does not work.