Have you tried that crazy wrap thing?

No.

And let me tell you why!

First, a disclaimer.

I have a few friends who are selling wraps. Some of them have suggested that I buy one. I'm not against people selling things (I'm a musician... lol), and I'll happily buy lotions and make-up and stuff like that from people. The only thing I absolutely refuse to buy is a wrap product, and it has nothing to do with my friends or that they're selling it. It has everything to do with me and my own brain and how it works whenever weight loss or anything like that is concerned.

Before I go on, I'm just gonna go ahead and write this with the assumption that maybe the wraps do work. If they do, and people buy them, that's great. Nothing against you guys. But even if they do work, for someone like me who has always had issues with my looks and my weight, the idea that I can pay 75$ + for a wrap that will take off maybe an inch sounds too good to be true. Even if it does work, the product is meant to be used a few times for the effects to last or improve, which means I'm stuck paying 75$ + to wrap myself. On the website, a single "Ultimate Body Applicator" costs $99. There is also a "Loyal Customer Price" of $59, which means if you buy more they cost less. 

For someone like me, who pinches every penny to go into the band, I just can't see myself paying that much money for a product that might take off an inch temporarily and then have to keep buying it. Even if it does work, all it does is remove a little bit of flesh from me, and that's all. Will a wrap improve my stamina? No. Will a wrap improve my health? No. More importantly, will a wrap improve my mental health? Absolutely not.  Like I said, I have problems when it comes to body image and the idea of a product that will melt inches off of me in exchange for wads of cash sounds so good I know for a fact that I would become addicted. Which, of course, is what fuels the entire sale of this product. Women who want to take off a few inches.

Why is the one on the left so sad!?

Again, nothing against ladies who buy or sell these things. If you can buy or sell one without and detrimental blows to your mental health, knock yourself out. But if I'm going to be addicted to something, it's not going to be a product. I want to be addicted to working out and eating right. I want to be addicted to a healthy body image, which is something else I see in the marketing involved with these body wraps; lots and lots of body shaming.

I understand that they're trying to sell a product that promises firmer toned bellies and thighs. And that's cool. But shaming people to get your point across isn't cool. A wrap isn't going to take someone from a size 20 to a size 2. I've seen some pretty terrible ads by people trying to sell wraps and I'm not cool with this sales tactic. It reminds me of how PETA tried to shame fat people into eating vegan by calling them "whales". I've lived a lifetime of feeling ashamed of my looks just to have people continue to shame us so they can sell us a beauty product. I don't mind as much when it's big companies run by assholes I can't talk to, but when it's friends? Or even friends of friends? That makes me sad. Not mad, sad.

And then there's all the "science" they say is behind these wraps. Come on. Really? You're putting down people who diet and exercise so you can sell a body wrap? I'm sorry, but there's no way to "cleanse" your body without eating a diet full of nutritionally rich food. Like vegetables. Do you want to "cleanse" yourself? EAT VEGETABLES AND DRINK WATER. And no, vegetable juice mixed with fruit juice doesn't count. In fact, drinking fruit juice might make you gain weight because of all the concentrated sugar! EAT. YOUR. VEGETABLES. I won't guarantee you'll look like Heidi Klum, but I will guarantee that you will feel better and live longer. A wrap can't promise that.

"Keeps the body naturally lean", because you're naturally supposed to wrap your body in plastic wrap.

So please, if you're selling wraps, I appreciate your business but I can't buy one. I have cellulite and yes, I hate it, but I can't afford to buy wraps. What I can do is continue to work out, because at least that way I'll be able to run longer and have better lung capacity. Maybe I'll never be able to wear shorts, but at least I'll be saving my money for things that will make me feel good about myself.

However, if you're selling some really good lotions, sign me up.

Damn you, schedule!

Don't be fooled by my lack of a Friday post. I ran. It sucked, and I hated it. Today (which is Monday, June 17th 2013), I also ran. It sucked, and I hated it. But to be honest, I didn't feel like a complete wreck, afterwards. That feels good. It's not a huge accomplishment, but I'd like to get to the point where I can run a 5k without feeling awful during AND after. I feel like my endurance is getting better, but I still don't feel very fit. It's weird and annoying.

Look at this chick.

So on the one hand, I've been lifting weights for the past few months without seeing much in the way of physical changes. At least not in my opinion. I'm still a bit heavier than I'd like to be. Not by a huge amount, mind you, but enough that I'm annoyed. So I went back to running because when I was running just 1-2 times a week, I felt like I was in the best shape. My weight was lower, my shape was better, overall I was happier. So now I'm running again, and I feel guilty because I'm not taking as much time to lift weights. One side of my brain says that a ton of cardio doesn't help burn fat as well as building muscle does, the other side of my brain is reminding me that running is better for my stage performance and lung capacity.

I don't even know. I'm just annoyed with myself. Technically, I'm in the best shape of my life, and I still don't feel good about it. I see other women who run as much as I do, and they're all skinny, and I'm not. And it's annoying. Like, WTF do I have to do? It's not like I eat a lot, or I eat poorly. I get more vegetables than anyone I know and I don't eat sugar or refined carbs regularly. Is it my nightly martinis? Must I cut out -everything- just to get back to 120lbs? I'm eating the same way I was back then, and I still can't figure out what's wrong.

MAYBE THAT'S THE ANSWER. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG. Maybe I'm in good shape and the vanity pounds I care so much about won't go anywhere because that's just how I'm built. This is the best explanation I can come up with and MAN does it piss me off.

5 days - 25k (Days 3 & 4)

 Whoops! Didn't update, yesterday. In case you were wondering, I totally did day #3, and it sucked. Lets talk about that.

The thing about running is that it takes a lot of energy. I've got like, zero energy in the afternoon, because it's been 6 hours since my last meal and running AFTER I eat is disgusting. I always feel like I'm gonna vomit. So I run before I eat and I'm tired. And sore, from the day before. During day 3, I was able to get a WiFi signal so I watched a few episodes of Metalocalypse. I love watching TV when I run because it's a good distraction away from the utter exhaustion I feel. Not giving myself a day to recover in between these 5ks is brutal. The muscles in the front of my thighs are sore and no stretching in the world is enough to un-sore them. My arms were exhausted after yesterday's run and it was hard to lift them enough to wash my hair, and I didn't even work my upper body, this is all from running.

Today was day 4, and it was probably the hardest run yet. I ate around 6:30 this morning then drank a protein shake (low carb) around 12 before running around 12:30. I was so ragged. It was hard not to give myself breaks between each 1/2 mile, but I  managed to push through. With a crappy WiFi connection, I couldn't watch TV so I listened to my work out mix instead. There's a lot of Hammerfall in that mix, lemme tell ya. Sometimes it's inspiring, but today it wasn't doing it for me. To tell you the truth, nothing really did it for me today. I was tired, and hungry, and miserable, but I did it so I could say I did it and it suuuuucked but I did it.

I'm only hoping that tomorrow won't suck as much as I'm dreading it will. I hate running outside, but because I have a show tomorrow in Raleigh (at The Maywood!), I tool the day off. So I'll be at home and I'll be able to get up, eat, rest a bit, then run a bit sooner after a meal which will hopefully give me more energy. We'll see. Either way, I'll do it so I can finish this 25k, and hopefully not drop dead.

5 Days - 25K (Day 2)

DAY 2! My thighs are KILLING me... specifically, the muscles at the front. Very sore, hard to walk after today's 5k. I didn't have much energy and kind of had to force my way through the pain. I had a late start to my lunch and didn't start running until about 12:45, and I was dumb so I skipped breakfast. No breakfast, no lunch, running basically on water and a single cup of coffee, no fun. But I did it, because I knew I had to, and man-oh-man did I sweat. I was listening to King Diamond's "Voodoo", which was more or less inspiring. More, because it's great music, less, because it's a new album (for me) and I don't know most of the music so I was trying to pay attention while kicking my ass on that treadmill. It was an OKAY workout, but I didn't have time to lift weights so that's disappointing. I hope I'll get time, tomorrow. I don't like doing just cardio, but it's better than nothing.

5 Days - 25K

Well, this weekend kicked all kinds of ass. Our album release show for Time's Arrow was absolutely successful. We sold a ton of merch, made some new fans, and got to play a whole new set! I even got to do a costume change! I can't complain about my performance, either. I did a lot of prepping to make sure that I didn't talk for the entire day, just because I wanted to make sure I could hit every high note repeatedly and growl in the spots I wanted to growl. I did my make-up different, added a few hair extensions, and wore my brand new show goggles. They were crafted by a dude on Etsy. Here is his shop! (The Real Broken Brains) It was great!

My one regret is an old one; ugh, I hate the way I look right now. Not that I can complain that I'm out of shape or anything, as I work out at least 4 days a week and don't eat badly. That being said, I'm thinking that maybe the elliptical isn't doing it for me. It always felt weird to use and never gave me that feeling of accomplishment that I do when I run. A year ago, at our last album release show, I was running a 5k maybe.... twice a week. But I felt and looked thinner than I do now, so I'm gonna give that a shot again and see how I feel about it. And goodness knows I love crashing into things, so I've decided to try and run a 5k every day for the next week. Don't worry, I'll still be lifting weights too. If you'd like to join me, by all means give it a try! For beginners, just try walking the first 5k. Eventually, sprinkle some jogging in there, and before you know it, you'll be running with me! Probably faster, though. I have short legs and run a 5k in 20 minutes IF I'm lucky!

Well that's it for now. I'll be headed to Raleigh this Friday for a gig, so my Friday 5k will have to be outside. I'M SCARED. I hate running outside, but I WILL DO IT! In closing, here's why I kill myself in the gym; metal love.