Being an adult is STUPID!

Well, it's finally happened.

I've put Willy and I on a budget.

Nobody pouts like Shirley Temple!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen. At the tender age of 28 (WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN!? I could have sworn I was 27...), I've put an end to our going-out-whenever-we-want, buying-whatever-we-want, random-trips-to-the-Renaissance-Faire ways. I took all those talents I have for planning shows and applied them to my normal boring blah blah day to day life. I made a spreadsheet in Excel. I calculated. I did maff. Why? Because I realized that it really sucks when your bank  account hits zero and you've got a week until your next paycheck. Because honestly, I'd like to actually put more than a few hundred bucks away. Because my poor car has been neglected for months, now.. and I kinda need him up and running for all these band things I've been borrowing Willy's car to travel to, lately. There's also the fact that Willy and I make pretty good money, and the fact that we keep bankrupting ourselves mid-week is irresponsible and embarrassing. I mean hell, we've got friends with kids now. All we've got is a cat, and you're telling me we can't be financially responsible because we've got an addiction to top-shelf vodka and costume pieces for the Renaissance Faire? C'mon. We can do better then that.

What real budgeting takes is some self-control, which, admittedly, we have very little of. Especially me. For some reason, it's a lot easier for me to not eat than to eat the food I bring to work every day. I guess I'm spoiled. I do my damndest to pack a lunch I won't feel guilty about, but at some point, that lunch just feels unappetizing. So I just gotta force it down and tell myself, "Shut up and eat that tuna! You're doing this so you can buy Guild Wars 2!! (And also fit into those jeans from 3 years ago!)" But it's not as easy as all that, so sometimes I just let myself go hungry and tell myself I'll eat it the next day. Because I am dumb.

Man do I miss being an irresponsible teenager! Or better yet, an irrisponsible college student. College was fantastic. I'm a multi-tasker, so I thrive on the kind of stress that homework/social responsibilities/a part time job puts on a 20-something. I think my mom said "get a job" all at once, which I actually laughed at. See, I've had a job every summer starting at 15, and then once I hit college, it went from every summer to just all the time. I did random stuff. I worked at Suncoast (before Best Buy ate them) in a mall, I worked at the Maryland Renaissance Festival, I was a teaching aid for elementary schools (2 different ones!) and I tutored at our school. "Get a job"... are you kidding!? I loved working! I loved it because all the money I got was pocket money. I didn't need a car because I took Metro. I didn't pay rent because I lived with my parents. They paid for all my food. All I had to do was go to school and goof off. And boy did I goof off! I still managed to get good enough grades that I found a job straight out of school. That's where the trouble hit me.

"Isn't this more fun than watching cartoons in bed?"

My first job was in Chantilly. It was a 1.5 hour car ride each way. I was so exhausted each morning that I got into a car accident during the first 3 months I worked there, and realized I needed to move away from home. At first it was a "during the week" thing. I'd go home on the weekends and live with my friend Joe during the week. Then I realized it was easier for me to stay there all the time, so I got my VA drivers' license, changed my address, became an adult.

The problem is that rent was so cheap that I never learned to budget. I had several things to think about... rent, car, car insurance, student loans. Not too many bills. The older I got, the more bills I got. Suddenly I'm paying for electricity, cable, a cell phone, a mortgage, HOA fees, gym dues... grown up things! Grown up things are horrible, but the thing about them is that they exist for comfort. I have cable. Why do I need to go out to entertain myself? I have vodka at home. I have a plethora of comic books, some unread. I even have some guy living with me I could talk to every once in a while! So in theory, I shouldn't need to add more expenses to my bills because I've got so much else to entertain myself with.

"Quit drinking and read me!!"

Unfortunately, I'm not that kind of person. I need to be out. So I either need to make myself look at the gym as a happenin' place where fun things happen, or I need to just shut up and sit on the couch and read all those Batwoman comics I've been hoarding before I make us both go broke with my expensive dirty martini habit.

Hell, I even bought my own martini glasses! And a shaker! Theoretically, I should be happy as a clam on my faux velvet red couches, lounging in a pair of animal-print pajama pants and an old band t-shirt I picked up in the mid-west while reading comic books and drinking martinis.So why aren't I? I'm spoiled. I'm really really spoiled.

Well, after the birthday party excursion I go to on Saturday night, I will make it my business to spend this entire Labor Day weekend at home! That's right, people! After I get wasted in DC, I'm gonna come home, hug my cat, and try my best not to go outside and spend money. I'll probably go to the gym. That's it. I swear. What? You don't believe me?

Yeah, me neither.