Dear Michael Rodriguez...

As much as I respect you for having such a blatantly Spanish name (word up!), I must confess; I am baffled by your choice in casting your girlfriend, Rose McGowan, as Red Sonja.

You heard me right. Red Sonja.

Red Sonja is a mythical heroin from comic books. She is big, buff, and bad-ass. Your girlfriend, Rose, is not. Now I know what you're thinking... she's so hot! I mean, I agree. I loved her in Ready To Rumble. I loved her petite frame and strikingly adorable features. But. Then came the WB, and I must say, I became one less fan of hers. Now this isn't to say she isn't allowed to make movies anymore, but, I'm less inclined to see them now.

Even LESS because.. seriously. Red Sonja?? Rose, pick your battles. You and I are both small girls. You're probably a bit taller than me (I am 5'1"...) but, you are petite. A Red Sonja you are not. Plus, for the love of god, you know that you will look awful as a red-head. AWFUL. You have all of the makings of a good brunette. Why would you try to do Red Sonja? Why?! To appease the fanboys? The nerds? The geeks? the males don't care either way... the idea of some hot chick in a metal bikini is enough to make them happy, but, I am a little harder to please.

That isn't to say that the last Red Sonja was great, but at least she had the look. Actually, that was pretty much all she had going for her. Good lord, watching her try to act was more painful then having a nest of cockroaches removed from your tongue.