It is not officially one week away from my wedding day. In one week, I'll be walking down the isle with the love of my life, my baby, my darling, my Willy. He's still as sweet as ever and I am extremely excited.
Of course, with that excitement comes nervousness too. I'm VERY nervous. I have butterflies. When I think about it, I know that I don't want anyone else. Any other man on this earth would pale in comparison to Willy's best features, and even when I see a cute guy I think "Oh, he's so cute.. but Willy's so much sweeter."
I can't talk to anyone the way I talk to him. There's no awkwardness. He -gets- me. It's amazing, yanno? He's my best friend, and the cutest guy I know. I adore him. Love love, gush gush.
On top of all the stuff I've said, he makes me feel pretty. Every single day. Not a day goes by that he doesn't openly leer at me, like a dirty old man, and make me feel wonderful. He's got the admiration of every pervert I've ever encountered, except, I actually love him so it's okay. It's welcomed! Feeling objectified by people I don't know is gross, but, being a pretty piece of ass to the guy who adores every facet of my being is fabulous. Man I love him.
Okay, love rant done. Next time I'll post something better. Tomorrow is my bachelorette party, so I have a feeling I'll have something to report...
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Friday, July 17, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Fear is popular
So I haven't written in here because honestly, I've been afraid to. I've been afraid of updating my little progress, because I've literally made very little. I now have two jobs; one, working 44 hours a week as a cashier at a plant nursery. Two, working part-time at an office in DC, where I update their website, and may eventually help them build a new one. So I've got two jobs, which, when added together, do not pay as much as I made during my last one. Or even during my first one. This is very depressing, BUT... at least I am working.
At least I have a job. At least I can write in my resume that I never stopped working within my field. During my time working retail, I've not only done contract work, but also part-time work within the graphic design world. So, I'm not COMPLETELY off track. Not completely. And I continue to get people calling and e-mailing, asking if I'm interested in interviews. So far, they've only been for contract jobs. But I have faith that things will change someday. In the meantime, at least I have these two jobs.
I'll admit it, though. I am still terribly depressed. How can I not be? I lost the best job of my life. I lost the happiest time I've ever had working. I lost something that I can only hope I can replace, someday. And yet, in spite of it all, I'm getting married in 3 months. So the world isn't really that horrible, is it? Not if love can help me through it.
At least I have a job. At least I can write in my resume that I never stopped working within my field. During my time working retail, I've not only done contract work, but also part-time work within the graphic design world. So, I'm not COMPLETELY off track. Not completely. And I continue to get people calling and e-mailing, asking if I'm interested in interviews. So far, they've only been for contract jobs. But I have faith that things will change someday. In the meantime, at least I have these two jobs.
I'll admit it, though. I am still terribly depressed. How can I not be? I lost the best job of my life. I lost the happiest time I've ever had working. I lost something that I can only hope I can replace, someday. And yet, in spite of it all, I'm getting married in 3 months. So the world isn't really that horrible, is it? Not if love can help me through it.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Finally, an update!
So I've been gone for a while, and for this I apologize. I spent the this week teaching, and the week before that I was in South Carolina with my fiancé. Yup, you read me right! Willy has gone from being my boyfriend of 4.5 years to my fiancé. He proposed at a place called The Crab Shack in Myrtle Beach, which, despite it's name, was actually a rather lovely classy place. After he proposed with his mother's engagement ring, we both drank champagne. I kept one of the tiny bottles.
My ring is beautiful. It was half as much as he was going to spend on a ring, because the more expensive a ring is, the more the cram it with big diamonds. I have tiny hands, so big diamonds look awful. Besides that, all of the designs were very ugly. My ring is pretty and stylized, with a nice design on the sides so it looks beautiful from every angle, not just the top.
Right now, we're working on planning the wedding. And by "we" I mean "I". I don't mind or anything, wedding planning is turning out to be one of the most fun things I've ever done. I get to decide on what my bridesmaids wear, where we host the wedding and the reception, what we'll be eating, how we'll decorate, all that stuff. Then ask Willy if it's okay, which it usually ends up being. I plan on wearing a dress with red in it, and having my bridesmaids wear red, while the men wear black tuxes with orange vests. The theme of the wedding is warm colors. There will be bright reds and yellows and oranges everywhere. Wherever we host the reception, I have to make sure that they can make paella and good sangria. My band is going to play for the ceremony, so despite the fact that it will be in a HUGE Catholic church ( St. Matthews Cathedral ; where JFK had his funeral ), it will also have a little bit of us in it.
Sometimes I think about what it will be like to be married, and I get scared. This is going to tie me to someone else's life until we're both dead. I will never be able to date again. Then I think... I haven't dated in 4.5 years. Have I really missed it that much? And, would I be happy if I didn't have Willy?
The answer is no. The thought of not having him is one of the scariest thoughts I've ever had. We almost broke up once, and it nearly destroyed me.
So, I'm very happy that he wants me to be his wife. I plan on being one of those old couples who are still in love, even after years and years and years. I want him beside me, when my band makes it big, and to be a good daddy to my kids someday in the very very VERY distant future. I want him to be jealous when other men flirt with his hot-ass wife. And now, I get to actually plan for it.
My ring is beautiful. It was half as much as he was going to spend on a ring, because the more expensive a ring is, the more the cram it with big diamonds. I have tiny hands, so big diamonds look awful. Besides that, all of the designs were very ugly. My ring is pretty and stylized, with a nice design on the sides so it looks beautiful from every angle, not just the top.
Right now, we're working on planning the wedding. And by "we" I mean "I". I don't mind or anything, wedding planning is turning out to be one of the most fun things I've ever done. I get to decide on what my bridesmaids wear, where we host the wedding and the reception, what we'll be eating, how we'll decorate, all that stuff. Then ask Willy if it's okay, which it usually ends up being. I plan on wearing a dress with red in it, and having my bridesmaids wear red, while the men wear black tuxes with orange vests. The theme of the wedding is warm colors. There will be bright reds and yellows and oranges everywhere. Wherever we host the reception, I have to make sure that they can make paella and good sangria. My band is going to play for the ceremony, so despite the fact that it will be in a HUGE Catholic church ( St. Matthews Cathedral ; where JFK had his funeral ), it will also have a little bit of us in it.
Sometimes I think about what it will be like to be married, and I get scared. This is going to tie me to someone else's life until we're both dead. I will never be able to date again. Then I think... I haven't dated in 4.5 years. Have I really missed it that much? And, would I be happy if I didn't have Willy?
The answer is no. The thought of not having him is one of the scariest thoughts I've ever had. We almost broke up once, and it nearly destroyed me.
So, I'm very happy that he wants me to be his wife. I plan on being one of those old couples who are still in love, even after years and years and years. I want him beside me, when my band makes it big, and to be a good daddy to my kids someday in the very very VERY distant future. I want him to be jealous when other men flirt with his hot-ass wife. And now, I get to actually plan for it.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
On love and art
More on love..
Today I did a drawing of two characters from WoW. The girl, Seppa, is my character, Ninorra's, mother. She was born into a poor social standing and made her money as a musician. The guy is Tirdisar, a rich dude who pretended to be poor so he could play his music in bars. They met, fell in love, ect.
This picture happens some 40 odd years after they fell in love, (elves live a long time, har har), and after a lot of crap happens that took them away from one another.
That isn't the point, though. The point I'd like to make is that love is in the last place you expect to find it. I'm usually okay with expressions in my drawings. Sometimes they're better than others. This one, though, this one is the best I've ever done. What is love? It's right on their faces. That's love.
Click here for picture, NSFW
Today I did a drawing of two characters from WoW. The girl, Seppa, is my character, Ninorra's, mother. She was born into a poor social standing and made her money as a musician. The guy is Tirdisar, a rich dude who pretended to be poor so he could play his music in bars. They met, fell in love, ect.
This picture happens some 40 odd years after they fell in love, (elves live a long time, har har), and after a lot of crap happens that took them away from one another.
That isn't the point, though. The point I'd like to make is that love is in the last place you expect to find it. I'm usually okay with expressions in my drawings. Sometimes they're better than others. This one, though, this one is the best I've ever done. What is love? It's right on their faces. That's love.
Click here for picture, NSFW
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Thoughts on Love
It occurs to me that I am very lucky.
There are people out there who don't have love in their lives. I know, because most of my friends are these people. They're mostly dudes who have had crushes on me in the past, but the truth is that I think they only see what they want to see. To them I'm a glamorous artist and musician who plays video games. I'm hot to them because I share their interests. They can talk to me and feel accepted, so it's easy enough to understand why every so often, one of them admits he's had feelings for me.
I don't mind. I just wish that there were more girls out there who shared their interests. Girls who ARENT gross fangirls who take advantage of guys like this. Girls who genuinely want to be their friend. It seems like most girls I meet who date gamers do enjoy gaming, but they date gamer guys because most of them can be easy to manipulate. That really sucks. Everytime I see Willy, I'm reminded of how lucky I am for having a boyfriend that loves every part of me. Even the bipolar depressive obsessive compulsive Nina, who spends all night folding laundry or crying over someone who died that she never met. Honestly, I have lots of dumpable offenses. I'm glad I'm with someone who sees past them, and what's more, considers them to be cute little quirks instead of huge issues.
There are people out there who don't have love in their lives. I know, because most of my friends are these people. They're mostly dudes who have had crushes on me in the past, but the truth is that I think they only see what they want to see. To them I'm a glamorous artist and musician who plays video games. I'm hot to them because I share their interests. They can talk to me and feel accepted, so it's easy enough to understand why every so often, one of them admits he's had feelings for me.
I don't mind. I just wish that there were more girls out there who shared their interests. Girls who ARENT gross fangirls who take advantage of guys like this. Girls who genuinely want to be their friend. It seems like most girls I meet who date gamers do enjoy gaming, but they date gamer guys because most of them can be easy to manipulate. That really sucks. Everytime I see Willy, I'm reminded of how lucky I am for having a boyfriend that loves every part of me. Even the bipolar depressive obsessive compulsive Nina, who spends all night folding laundry or crying over someone who died that she never met. Honestly, I have lots of dumpable offenses. I'm glad I'm with someone who sees past them, and what's more, considers them to be cute little quirks instead of huge issues.
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