So yesterday, Willy and I went out with our friends to see Ponyo. AWESOME film, highly recommend it, totally made my biological clock scream at me with "Why the hell are you not having babies?!" to which I said "Shut up!!" and stuffed with diet coke.
What I'd like to report on however, is how we went shopping before meeting up with our friends. See, I only had like... 2 pairs of jeans. One for work, and one for fun. The work jeans were a size 10 and fit really loose on me. The ones for fun are a size 8 and I wear them for fun because they're tighter and more flattering, but not exactly comfortable in a 100 degree green house. So we went to Old Navy because ON is having this $19 jeans sale.
I'm a little upset that they no longer make "lowest rise" jeans with flares. Those are what I LOVE. I like lowest rise because, having wide hips and a tiny waist, whenever I buy pants that go higher than my hips, there is a ton of fabric in the waist that is just empty and looks stupid. So I buy pants that fit in my hips so my stomach isn't crowded with this empty fabric. Unfortunately, since I have such HUGE HIPS, I look best in flares. They even me out, you know? But they don't MAKE lowest rise with flares, and the best I can do is the "boot cut". I HATE THAT. I will wear the boot cut out of necessity, but damn it I hate them. Also, all of my jeans have to be "short", or I step on them and they're destroyed.
Now with that explanation out of the way, we went to ON. I found some pale colored boot cut jeans in a size 8 short. Grabbed them, hoping they'd fit good. But I couldn't find any flares that were 8 short!! The closest that I found were a 6 short. They were higher in the waist. I figured, what the hell, lemme give this a try...
And they fit. Fit great, in fact. So now I've got a new pair of 8s and my first size 6 jeans. But... I don't feel like celebrating. I know people do vanity sizing. I have a sneaking suspicion I'm really wearing an 8, or even a 10. I know I've lost a lot of weight over the past few years, but still. I remember three years ago, I had to really squeeze into a size 10. Now I'm in a 6. That's pretty cool. But I still don't feel like celebrating. I might try on some pants at the mall to see if they compare. I have a pair of size 9 pants I got from Hot Topic that are ALWAYS too tight, so it's like... no matter how small I am at ON, those jeans never get any looser. :/ Which sucks because they're these great bondage pants and I'd like to wear them to shows.
My band always pressures me to dress "well". When they say well they mean "like a slut". I don't think I'll ever be comfortable with that, no matter how often I explain to them, "I am a fat chick. No matter what YOU see, I will always be a fat chick."
So yeah. Size 6 a victory? I doubt it. Lemme be a size 0 and we'll see.
By the way, if I had a body like the chicks modeling the jeans in the pictures I'm posting, I wouldn't be whining. Fuck them.