Monday, October 5, 2009

Meal Planning

One of the most important things to do while dieting is to plan meals. Personally, I'm good at planning meals when I have an endless budget and can buy as many healthy snacks as humanly possible. Why? Because my husband will EAT THEM ALL within less than a week, leaving me with little to use.

I don't fault him for this. I'm GLAD he eats healthy snacks, but he tends to take more at a time than I can account for, so I'm usually left with a pantry full of canned corn and tuna. As it stands, I currently have that, and a few ziploc bags full of meat in the freezer. Also, a large assortment of spices and condiments, as well as nearly empty bags of rice that shall go untouched so long as I have the strength in me to persevere in this weight loss venture.

So really, I gotta get creative. I noticed I had some eggs in the fridge, which are a godsend to Atkins-ites everywhere. This means that tomorrow I'll have egg salad for lunch, and thank god for that. While at work, I tend to go from being contently full, to HOLY MOTHER OF VADER I AM STARVING. It's that painful type of starving that I always try to induce before going to a really amazing restaurant. I haven't done that in a while, but it's basically my inset idea that if I'm going to eat out, I should be painfully starving so that I can truly appreciate the experience. I don't do this while I'm dieting, because that sort of thinking leads to eating from the ever-present free bread basket that seems to be offered in every restaurant from Red Lobster to the Texas Road House.

ANYHOO, my brain tends to associate pain with pleasure. No, I'm not a cutter, but I am the sort of weirdo who likes to feel hungry because I know that the hungrier I am, the less is in my stomach, which makes it appear flatter. Now, how to explain why I enjoy hot wax dripping... maybe that's a post for another day.

Still, every time I get that surge of confidence with the hunger I feel really weird. Because I LOVE eating, but it makes me feel bad. And that intense hunger is usually followed by nausea and headaches, which I must say, are the worst side effects ever. I've passed out twice due to something associated with hunger and heat. Nearly three times, but the third time I managed to keep myself conscious. So I know it's dangerous to starve, which is why I don't do it. But man, sometimes I wish it did! Because it's so tempting to see anorexic chicks, sometimes. They make it look so easy. If I tried to starve myself, my body would probably stall in weight loss for a week before slowly losing one or two pounds before I just died. And I don't wanna die, I just wanna drop ten pounds. Is that too much to ask!?

I suppose it's enough just to be thankful that I weighed a bit less at my last doctor's visit. Ya'll know how those doctor scales are... at least 5+ more than what you weigh back home, right? Well this time, it was only 4+! Which is a step up. Usually when I go there I'm close to 130lbs. o_O This time it said 126, which is definitely an improvement. At home my usual weight is 122.5. This is definitely the plateau I've reached, and I'm working hard to get past it. Sometimes I do, but just a teeny tiny bit, but then it comes back the moment I eat something bad. I know I gotta keep on it, and luckily I have been for a while now, but that needle just isn't budging. I'm willing to bed that upping my exercise would help, but after spending 9 hours a day in a greenhouse, I'm less willing to go for a run if ya catch my drift...

Oh well, we'll see what I can do. I got a good two weeks before my next show, so here's hoping I can lose a few pounds before then.

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